Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live - Unknown

time to say good-bye...

2009-12-03T09:43:00.002+08:00

It's been a long time; too long to do any sort of revival..

Today morning my impulsive instincts kicked in and I have decided to move on.. away from this part of my life... This had been my space to mainly rant.. There were never substantial posts to begin with anyway..

I have to stop now... I will probably start again in the new year.. I want to come back with something more meaningful and worthful to read... It has been a good journey and all good things have to come to an end at some point in time..

So till the new journey begins.. Happy Holidays to all and have a blast beginning the new year!

:)

2009-08-08T14:31:00.001+08:00

i couldn't post these on facebook...

used to like this song..

this i couldn't embed..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZ9OO-BOruU

i like the scene :)

2009-08-08T13:33:00.005+08:00

*dreamy look*

lost again?

2009-07-15T09:57:00.003+08:00

I am embarking on something new. Something that I have never thought of doing before. And, once again I am at the juncture where I like to think of many other options and situations and so make myself go through CONFUSION.

It's either a ARIES thing or a human thing. To always think that that could have been better when you are settling down on something new. I always start off with no confidence, stinking low self-esteem and an incredible sense of failure.

I hate myself for this. Having second thoughts when I should be on the ball, moving on and getting into the flow of things.

However, I love myself for the coping mechanisms. I tell myself that I have to do it and so push myself to the extremes.

My personality tests tell me that I am an extrovert. I laugh. I am seriously not. I love to be at the backstage of everything. I love the idea of putting things together and cherish the end result. But, I can never be the centre of attention. I can never make friends easily. I am so guarded. I am so afraid. I hate to have to introduce myself and forge new bonds. I am so not sociable. I always need a trigger to help me make the first move.

So now, I am back to telling myself that I HAVE TO DO IT. Am I doing something beneficial or is it just a waste of time and money? That is something time would tell but I am determined and mule-headed to never make it the latter.

I am back to working hard as ever. And at times, I get angry for not getting the real fruits of my labour. I hate going back home late nearly everyday. I hate not getting to see my mother and having a chit-chat with her. I know she is hating it as well. I hate sleeping late and waking up feeling that I never slept at all. I hate not having time to do my personal things and they always end up getting postponed. :(

Sheesh... Of late I have been thinking a lot about my career and sometimes I think I should have just shut it and taken up Mr Michael's offer. *HEAVY SIGH*

Teaching is what I love but somehow I do not see myself doing it as a sole job. It has always been a supplementary job and I hope it will remain that way for a long time to come.

I think I am done with my ranting. I had to get it off my chest. :)

*Durga I cannot wait to see the makeup!*

Happy birthday darling!

2009-07-01T11:12:00.005+08:00

I am back to work after almost 2days of MC. Haiz.. Since I was so free yesterday I baked a cake upon Durga's suggestion for Devan. :)

Ya I know I am not BIG on creativity. :p

So apparently the cake was yummy though I found it a little too sweet and crumbly. I got to bake more! (when I find the time and desire)

Pravin has left for US.
:(

Oh well.. we will get over it gradually and before we know it he will be back! I just hope the trip will do wonders to him and his career.

I got to go see patients now...

Happy Birthday D!

:)

2009-06-30T22:38:00.002+08:00

Har Janam Mein, Rang Badalke
In every lifetime, the colors will change

Kaabhon Ke Paardon Pein Hum Khilte
We blossom behind the curtains of dreamland

Hum Hain Raahi Pyar Ke, Phir Milenge Chalte Chalte
We are travelers on the path of love, We’ll meet again as time goes by

one of my evergreen favourites

2009-06-18T09:10:00.001+08:00

Wake up!

2009-06-08T15:28:00.004+08:00

I am bored stiff at work. I got to do SOMETHING! Hopefully the meeting on Wednesday goes well!

Devan's parents have made THE VISIT! LOL. We have yet to plan things but I can imagine myself going crazy. :)

I went over to his place yesterday and it felt so good. :) Still feeling a little strange but thawing a bit more already. Shirodini is soooo adorable! Love her eyes!

I love this song at the moment. And yes wedding songs and family songs are making me feel so emo! Lol. Rajeswari being sappy.. bloody hell!

Oh and I can't believe that I came this far without a haircut! Need one desperately!!!

('',)

2009-05-22T16:05:00.002+08:00

loving it!

2009-05-21T23:15:00.001+08:00

thoughts

2009-05-17T20:58:00.006+08:00

at times i wonder,
do i ask for too much?

then the stubborn one in me says not at all

i guess it will be this way for a long time

i am tired

tired of asking for this and that

tired of getting things done

tired of hoping that everything will be fine

tired of planning everything.. always

tired of thinking that eventually things will be learnt

i want to move away

i want to breathe

i want to pamper myself

and i do hope you will not stop me

loneliness

2009-05-17T20:45:00.005+08:00

there are a lot of people around
a lot of talking
a lot of laughing

i can feel the love, the concern and the care

i know that someone will be there to catch me when i fall

i believe in love, truly and realise that the love showered upon me will get me through good and bad times

i try my best to please everyone
i please till i lose the meaning of myself

there are people to adore
to love
to respect
to cherish

nevertheless, somehow, i feel alone....
and i know that there is no one better to love you but YOURSELF...

Credit to: http://www.summerpierre.com/2007_10_01_archive.html

can't get it out of my head

2009-05-16T00:12:00.007+08:00

Guna annae got me thinking about this song over n over n over again!

Missing you...

2009-05-13T08:54:00.002+08:00

I miss going to the beach with you. I miss the bicycle ride. A one-time thing which has been lingering on my mind always. And I cannot wait to plan another day like that again.

I miss the swimming nights. I miss the beancurd sessions together with the thosai ones. I miss the long late night walks in the cool breeze with you by my side to keep me warm.

I miss talking late into the nights. I miss the giggly conversations and the one where I tell how I fell in love with you. I swear it was magical... *blush*

I miss you being you without the stress and the weariness. I miss going out freely without having to run errands or succumb to obligations. I miss doing things on impulse and not scheduled.

I miss the simple things.

I miss the rush of joy it brought me.

I miss the natural blush it gave me.

I am looking forward to having a special day with you and I hope it comes soon. . . .

oink oink

2009-05-12T15:26:00.002+08:00

Now, I hope you guys have been washing your hands, avoiding crowded places and sneezing dutifully into your hankies.. I know it all sounds so silly or at least I thought it did, until I noticed that people need to be TOLD to do it. Haiz..

The government has decided that it needs to tell its people to wash their hands, use tissue and be more aware about personal hygiene. 'Ridiculous' was the only word that was running through my mind when I first saw the ad on TV. I mean, come on, who does not know that you have to wash your hands after doing your business??!

Ahhhh but there are always people around to prove you wrong and then you realise again that your government actually means well and does things for an extremely good reason.

I am not so bothered about this flu thingy except that things at work were a little different for a while. What do you expect in a hospital...

______________________________________________

I made cornflakes cookies over the weekend! I could not meet up with D so I decided to put my time to use and made some cookies with my mother (and that was how mothers' day was spent).

I love baking! :) It's just that I don't have the time to do it. Next I am going to try cheese cake!

Calvin and Hobbes! One of my all-time favourite comics!

High on joy!

2009-04-24T16:37:00.003+08:00

I am elated! I wonder why?!? Lol

Happy happy day.... Nothing happened but I just have this happy feeling inside of me which is making me hyper and energetic. YAY!

Work is ending in a while and I will be off to see my darlings at tuition! Today is their test! I am all jittery because I have to mark their work at the end of the day. Praying they will do well...

My baby brother's turning 21! I am quite excited!! No plans as of yet but I really wanna do something fun!!
(I just thought of something and cannot wait to tell Durga about it!!)

I want to eat ice-cream!! BEN N JERRY's! Probably at night safari since D's gonna be ending work late... ... ... ..

COunting down to see Him.......

Muacks to my loved ones and I am ending my crazy post right about now!

Sastha Pillaigal did it again!!

2009-04-20T10:35:00.006+08:00

I had to put up a new post. It was depressing to come to my blog and see the previous entry. Bleagh!

Anyway, I am happy happy happy! Saturday was the singing competition which Vadi and my beloved Pravin Dass took part in and emerged as CHAMPIONS! Lol. I was ecstatic and still am! I am in love with that song now.

Sadly, I left earlier that day for Shanjana Sree's, who's freaking adorable by the way, birthday party. When Durga smsed the results annae and I were screaming first prize! first prize! Lol. Thank god the DJ was louder than us. We were hugging each other and jumping like a crazy pair. It was such an emotional moment. There were tearing and shrieking. And we got weird stares from the other guests. I think the guys at the DJ console thought that we struck 4D! Lol.

Anyway the gang came down soon after (I simply couldn't wait for them. Siva uncle had to make me stop glancing at the entrance every 3 secs!) and we made it our party! LOL. We are horrible but I am sure Shanjana Sree wouldn't mind. *winks*

It was such a HAPPY day.

Also heard something about someone from someone. I was not surprised actually. I was not worried either as we ALL know that HE will guide us and help us. :) coz he LOVES us!!!!

Moreover, I do not want to assume neither do I want to judge anyone's character without knowing them well enough.

I was pretty moved when Annae mentioned that Karuppar will take care of it. HE always does. And he said, "People come and go in our group. If someone is not FIT to be a SASTHA PILLAI HE will know what to do. " So emotional! lol. No I am not PMSing.

It's just that it goes to show how much we have been through and how much we can withstand. I love my family. They mean alot to me and vice-versa. So, anyone out to say or do anything against us better think twice hor! : )

Annae and I were at the party smsing each other.. It was too loud to have a decent verbal conversation.

Me: Why do we always get the problematic ones?

Annae: Coz we can handle it.

Annae and his confidence in us. Lol!

enadhu manamum enadhu ninaivum unadhu vasamae
namakku yEthu pirithu pArkka iraNdu manamae..

So... SC did it again!

Dancing... check!
Singing... check!

NEXT??????

(Now if only I can get the net cable from my colleague so that I can click on the Publish Post!)

my desultory entry

2009-04-16T10:46:00.004+08:00

Mum had a fall.
Made my whole world go topsy-turvy for a few days.

Dad is trying hard to cope.
We all are.

Insignificant and minor, it may seem
But it was serious enough for me to lose sleep &
moisten my pillow with hot tears in the nights.

Now in addition to tuition, work and classes
there are matters like laundry, meals and cleaning
running in my head daily. (Rajes is finally doing housework. Lol!)
And yes I am cooking a little!!

Dad has to think about
getting my mother into the shower daily
making sure the necessities are within her reach at all times
putting the food on the table
bringing back money.

Thanks to the family it's neither a burden nor a hassle.
In fact I am going to treasure these moments
when my mother for once gets to actually RELAX. :)

Things happen and consequences develop from there
Whatever they may be life goes on...

Oh.. then there's the "BIG" W to think about... (which I really don't want to do at this time)

I just want to wrap myself in my blanket and go to sleep without being disturbed.

Weekend fun

2009-03-31T09:48:00.009+08:00

I had a fun weekend! Friday night was spent at the flea market (Thanks Gowri!) organised by flea-tique! I got myself 2tops, a dress and shades!

Saturday was my favourite! D had the weekend off so I intended to spend every moment possible with him. I headed for my tuitions in the morning and met D for lunch. I managed to borrow mama's car and headed to the BEACH!

I really enjoyed the moments. The cycling, talking, watching the ponies and the SINGING! :)

Tired!

But not too tired to be vain :)

I like!

Don't know why I am smiling weird

Our transport for the day! (at the beach)

POSER...

Talking to VADI!

iADORE

My $10 shades

Top from the flea-market

The song that he made me blush about! lol. (by the way I just got it from some website so excuse the errors if there are any.)

vaeNaam vaeNaamunnu naan irundhaen neethaanae enna izhuthu vitte

pOdi pOdinnu naan thoratha vambula neethaana maativitte

nalla irundha en manasa naaraga thiruchuputta

karupaa irundha en irava coloura maathiputta

enudan nadantha en nizhala thaniya nadakka vitta

uLLa irundha en usura veLiya midhakka vitta

I love you! Glad that we had that time!

sickly birthday

2009-03-24T08:13:00.002+08:00

Arghhh I am sick! Of all the days on my birthday! Lol

Nothing happened according to plan and yes I did not wear that WHITE DRESS Gowri! lol
The dress that I bought when I was with Durga and Gowri ended up staying in the bag. SO sad.....

I ended up going for dinner with my parents and then heading home to sleep. It did not end that pathetically though. My darlings came over at about 10+ with a cake baked by D! (and his chef) :)

I had cupcakes from Karthik's gf! I got a picture of it but have yet to upload it. It was fun. I was such a lousy birthday gal as I could not even show a lil enthusiasm. haha. Now I am at work feeling so drowsy thanks to the medicine I took last night. I wish and wish and wish I could head home and sleep this flu and fever away!

Thanks for all your wishes and gifts! LOVE YOU ALL!

I am happy happy happy!

2009-03-04T08:50:00.005+08:00

I got myself a samsung pixon in pink!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Phew! Ok. Too excited! After so long I got a pink hp. Thanks to D. heh heh I used his plan and voucher to get it since he didn't want one at the moment. He knows how to make me HAPPY! lol

So I have yet to fiddle with many things. For now I am trying to figure out to get rid of the operator logo. Damn. It's not going off.

In other exciting news.. I am planning to get married!!! WOwo that was a bit amazing to type. You know how you think that you are still young and got a long way to go? Well, that will stop after a while and you just become a teeny bit more responsible and decide to settle down. I think it is a biological setup. I was a bit apprehensive about posting about this at first because I really did not want unwanted people to read it. Then again, since I have decided to take the plunge I might as well tell the whole world. LOl

So, preparations have not begun yet but they will soon and I want to have a smashing event even if it is going to be in the Temple! I am depending on my beloved ones to make it happening of course :) The decorations might be fantastic and the music and food might be great but in the end it's loving people who make it rocking! I already got a outline of what I want on that day and I cannot wait to put it in plan and action.

I can hardly wait to start the whole chaotic process of hunting for a bridal shop, trying on outfits and makeup, looking at decore possibilities, dressing D up (LOL) and much much more!

So here I am, all ready to enter the new chapter of my life and I really thank God for making it with D! Hmm he has yet to propose to me but I told him that it's a bit stupid to propose after we have already decided. LOl like a reverse process but it would be nice *hint* as he never did. Not even when we began dating! I am afterall a sucker-for-romance girl! Haha. That's D. Romance takes on a whole new meaning with him.

Anyway proposal or not I am getting hitched! I made a trip down to HDB the other day and realised that it is not easy as I thought it was to get a house! Argh! Hopefully I can get a house by the end of this year. *praying*

Will keep you guys updated on the wedding front.

Hmmm.. Work has been fine. It's either too busy or too boring. Lol. Things are picking up slowly though.

I have been trying to squeeze in social time in between my tuitions and tiredness. Late-night movies despite feeling tired as D cannot make it during weekends and night walks home with D. Nowadays the only thing we do is meet, walk home, say good-night on the phone and then I am off to Lala land. Lol. Of course I treasure these times. A small price to pay for our work I guess. Then I still have to have Family time. I feel so tired at times strangely. I think I got to get some sort of energy booster in me. :) No I am not aging yet!

I cannot think of much at the moment....
- I want to grow out my rebonded hair soon!
- I have yet to make the trip to get a henna treatment done
- I want to do online shopping!
- I love the month of March! (u guys should know why. if you don't then shame on you!)
- I want to get started on my post-grad studies!
- I want to eat!

There, random thoughts to end off my post. I will TRY to blog soon!!!

:)

2009-02-24T11:16:00.002+08:00

Very very excited! Can't believe that it's finally happening!

Suddenly there's so much to do.

..........

Being Melodramatic

2009-02-02T11:50:00.002+08:00

Are things complicated or am I complicating things?!!??

Because Nandhini asked me to....

2009-01-30T14:35:00.007+08:00

Yes I am finally blogging because Nana (is that how you spell it?) asked me to. :) I am such a good sister right? Haha.

I managed to sneak in some time to blog from work. Nothing much has been happening. i am just waiting to be sent to AMK hospital. I have just been attending meetings and researching for stuff online. That's about it. We did a trial the other day with patients. It was interesting. There is going to be alot of patient interaction with my new job. It was nice to be back at AMK. Most of them recognised me! YAY! So work is alright.

The other day when I wanted to blog I was thinking about blogging about myself. Myself in the sense how I see me. I tend to get very critical about myself. It't not really due to my mentality but also to how people had treated me. Let's see, I used to be ridiculed by so-called friends for having hairy arms, no butt, flat chest, flat nose, scrawny frame etc.

Now when I look at myself: hairy arms no more.. thanks to waxing! Butt is there, a huge one according to Durga... thanks or no thanks to genes! The rest remain I guess I can't do much about the chest unless I go for plastic surgery. Implants anyone?! Lol!

But as time goes I think I managed to stop looking down on myself and actually make use of what I have. For instance, I try my best to buy clothes that do not evidently show the lack of boobs. I have finally dragged myself to the clinic to check on my acne.

Though cliche, it's always about feeling BEAUTIFUL inside. I look and feel different when I look into the mirror and smile and say to myself that I am good-looking. I feel tall when I walk confidently. It's amazing what confidence can do to and for you. I LOVE MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And Hema you are sexy in every way possible so flaunt it gal! Brains and Beauty! You are right when you mention that we do not get everything that we WANT BUT we can make everything that we HAVE to work for our good! I am sure you would and prince charming will come by when the time is right and sweep you off your feet!

Totally random: I just read "Match Game" by Beverly Brandt and liked the way the author concluded it. I can't remember the exact lines but the one that captured and remains in my mind is, "It's ok. You are worth it." I know it's just a few words but when you say it sincerely it just means a lot.... Anyway the guy says that to the gal when she apologises for causing a lot of trouble (with govt etc).

I can go on blogging I think as there are still alot of things on my mind but I HAVE TO GO....

*My Mac is down* BooHOO!!
*grumbles about the money to fork out for the repairs*

NANA!!!!! Go bug the other sisters now!! And let's meet soon!!!!!

All the best to my girlies for their posting. Work hard now and do your best. It's another phase and a totally new world.. ENJOY!

HUGS!

Quickie!

2009-01-20T17:19:00.006+08:00

Blogging a real short one from work. I have a list of things to do after work today so I am sure blogging would be the last thing on my mind when I get back home.

....................................................................................

Ok that was like done yesterday at work but I could not complete it. Now I am back at work in the morning and decided to do it before it lies in my draft folder and collects dust.

Work has been fine. It has not really begun full swing. I hope it would be fun though.

I need to go out! D and I have not done that in a reaally really looong time. It's either meet, walk home and sleep or no meetings at all. Lol. It IS putting a strain on the relationship but I am glad that we are on par with the understanding level. Anyway it kind of teaches us to treasure whatever moments we have.

I am thinking of going for conversational Mandarin courses at the CC. Anyone interested to accompany me?? :) It would help me a lot in my job and I guess I like the idea of knowing another language with good fluency and not the cut and paste sort.

I am looking forward to tomorrow at Hema and Nands' place for swimming! It will be fun and I hope we will be able to make it. Lol

I got to get back to work. Hope to update more often now!

WTF!??

2009-01-12T12:48:00.003+08:00

OMG!!! ARGH!!!! @*#&@*($!!!

I just typed like half a page of stuff and it got deleted with just one press of a key!!!! AAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH! ANNOYING!

And I have obviously lost the mood to blog. :P

I am going to go buy lunch. I think the lack of food is making me cranky.

...........

One final one before 2009...

2008-12-31T10:34:00.000+08:00

I had to do this before the new year started. There's technically about 13hrs 25mins to go!!

We went over to Hema n Nands' home last night and had fun. There were shocking revelations! Lol! (*Hints to Nans*) We played charades, pictionary and then just talked crap. :)

We watched SILAMBATTAM with Eeshwar and Sabrish! It was funny! I am not into Simbu but the jokes all had underlying meanings and our guys were very fast in catching on to it. They laughed their heads off even when the rest of the theatre was quiet. Eeesh.

01.01.2009 marks the date of Ayyappan prayers at my place! The excitement starts today with all the preparations going on at home. I hope to see all my dear ones at my place later to countdown to the new year. (with veg pizza and whatever else veg).

14.01.2009 is when I start my new job!! I am thrilled! I finally got a job! I am going to be a Research Asst at TTSH. It is not a fantastic jump pay-wise but I am just extremely pleased that I have gotten something that might let me grow in the Psychology field. 2009 is going to be a GREAT year. I can feel it!

I want to go on a trip. (hopefully we can plan that successfully)

I want to buy new clothes with my next pay. (it's been so long!)

I want to religiously go for henna hair treatments.

I want to take up a course. (Something to do with musical instruments prob)

I want Elaine to do fantastically well in her PSLE. (that's a dream waiting to be achieved)

And now... I got to go and get some work done. The phone has been ringing non-stop. Haiz!

Have a GREAT NEW YEAR!!

can i scream???

2008-12-03T23:33:00.001+08:00

I just had to put this! I love all the songs! Can we share Surya Nandini?? Pretty PLSSSSSS

And I'm in love with you....

2008-11-28T09:33:00.000+08:00

That line comes in before the song 'Mundhinam'. And the way Surya says it..... *SWOONS*
I know I look like an idiot swooning over an actor but hey that is the only kind of escape to fantasy from the harsh realities.

I was in love with the songs especially 'Mundhinam' (I keep playing it repeatedly on my ipod). It was fun when after the movie D kept miming the song to me :)))) I became this giggly, crazy-in-love gal. D is my SURYA (ahem, minus the abs and whatever of course) Haha

It was such a feel-good movie. Something very different. It is so refreshing to see movies like this after watching tons of typical commercialised ones.

I loved Surya in the drug addict role. He was so convincing and his acting is once again fantastic. Both the heroines were good. I love Sameera's hair! Surya was great in all the roles!

So that's it about VARANAM AAYIRAM, a movie that I wouldn't mind watching again.

I am going to start work at the CCK centre soon in two weeks' time. It's just going to be a 2-day thingy for now. Contemplating about the other projects that I am offered. I HATE MAKING DECISIONS.

UTS'09 is slowly being formed!! HARD WORK!!

Oh and thanks to the movie I am daydreaming about my wedding already.. Sheesh!

This is one of my favourite scenes in the movie. :) Declaration of love.

I am off to get some work done and listen to my 'Mundhinam'!

REMEMBER: "Whatever happens Life has to Go On"

UPDATED!

2008-11-25T11:45:00.002+08:00

Something which reflects my thoughts at the moment. Family, Sastha Chellams, D and the song from Satham podathey - Pesukiraen pesukiraen. I disliked the song at first but after listening to it on YouTube it's kind my song-of-the-mmt now. *Grins*

Oh yes and the VERY HOT news which has become lukewarm now thanks to my 'prompt' updating. ME IS A GRADUATE LOR!!!!

Like finally! Screw those who say it's ONLY A BACHELOR'S! *Sticking tongue out* Only we students know how freaking hard it is mentally and physically. After all these years I finally wore the gown and the cap. YES! Taking photos with my dear ones; that was something that I had been daydreaming about for some time already.

Apparently marriage is next on the cards. Seriously, I have not given any serious thought to it. D and I don't even know when we want to do it! I am just hoping that things will fall into place when the time comes. The older you get the more decisions you have to make and that is the most taxing aspect of being an adult.

Of course the other thing will be work. I am going to start hunting for a job soon. hopefully the recession period will be kind to me.

The Ayyappan season has started and the weekends are packed! The only time I can expect to have a break is when I am unable to go. Haiz.

Got to make plans with people to go out.
Got to go out with D!!!!
Got to decide on my wish for SC gift exchange.
Got to go shopping!
Got to do many other things.

At this moment I just want to sit back with a cup of hot drink, some snacks and a lovely book in my hands. It has been a very long time since I had done that....

Very random post guys but I have finally updated so go bug Durga now!
:)

It's time to SHOP!

2008-10-07T09:39:00.009+08:00

I finally went shopping yesterday!! :)

It has been like sooooooooo long since I went shopping proper.

Unfortunately I had my P and so was not very energetic about buying things. Devan was surprised that I was not wandering into every single shop we walked past. Lol. Apparently that's what I usually do. Anyway did not buy much but I was happy with my purchases.

Yesterday's shopping was done at Bugis. I got myself 2pairs of shoes (really cute pairs), 3 tops and earrings!! I still want to buy a bag... D finally bought new jeans and he was feeling pretty happy with himself. He got 2 Levis and a top for only $99.90! Go check it out at BHG. They are having some sale. The tops sucked though so I chose one for myself. :)

We had dinner at pastamania and I am kind of into pasta now though I only ate the vegetarian one. D had some stingray thing and he kept saying that I MUST try it after the veg phase.

So the non-traditional shopping is done and now I can't wait to walk around in TEKKA for my traditional shopping!! Tekka always makes me happy during the festive season. The colours, smells and not forgetting the latest remixed songs blaring on the speakers! The best part is you are highly likely to bump into someone familiar and that it makes it more fun (well at least for me).

I got this huge list in my mind and D has this funny expression on his face as I keep adding on things to the list. We do have a HUGE (WARM) family. LOL. Well.. It's DEEPAVALI and I AM GOING TO SHOP for myself and my loved ones. I CAN'T WAIT!!!!

Oh and if you guys are free sms or call and we shall go gallivanting in TEKKA together ok?!

:))))))

(Blame the PMS for this crazy, high-spirited, colourful post)

I have to go drink my Horlicks kosong and eat my red bean Pau now..... CiAOooooooooo

A reason to blog!

2008-09-22T11:29:00.003+08:00

I am feeling over the moon, ecstatic and whatever else that may express extreme happiness and excitement. BUT...............

I CAN'T SAY WHY JUST YET!

LOL!!

I just hope it all turns out well andI will reveal the reason then!

My first entry for the month of Sept'08 and there were many things happening! Will upload pictures and update later!!

new look

2008-08-28T22:56:00.002+08:00

Vadi's 24th was a blast. We take any excuse to party and enjoy ourselves and we did that the SC way!

Vadi was SURPRISED though his reaction didn't show it. Hmmm. :)

We had a horrible dance which thankfully turned out hilarious and entertaining to all. Then for once we did not dance but instead had a singing session.

All turned out well and now there's the mass bhajan to look forward to.

Before I go... Check out my new look! hehe was apprehensive about doing it at first, now that I have done it I LIKE it!!

Realisation

2008-08-18T12:56:00.003+08:00

I realised that I speak my mind too much, I think too much and I possibly care too much.

I should shut my mouth, mind my own business and just keep me to myself.

I typing this knowing well enough that it probably would not happen. However, putting it down in words might motivate me to get there one day.

I wanted to refrain from posting such pointless blogs but I guess when you reach the point of insignificance you just do not bother any more.

It's not depression. It's not PMS. It's a case of i-don't-know-what.

Picture says it all...

2008-08-12T22:33:00.002+08:00

Just bhajans

2008-07-28T13:12:00.009+08:00

Right, so the Aadi month has been like the December season. We have had two weeks of Thurs-Sun bhajans! It is so tiring. I got no idea how the rest are getting their butts out of bed every morning and going to work or school! (Yes I am at work, blogging!)

It's all worth it of course. I couldn't go to Sujesh house on Thurs so dragged Suba with me to Tekka. We wanted to get stuff for the Chokris prayers on Fri! I was damn excited about it. :)
We were walking around and around trying to find souvenirs and in the end just settled for glass bangles. lol. Then we were at Ananda Bhavan to get dinner where we got teased by two stupid workers who apparently thought they were way cool. *Pukes*

I had to wait bloody 20 mins for TWO APPAMS! I mean how long does it take to make an appam. The guy had poured the mixture into the pan and started doing something else and chit-chatting with a co-worker (who had already irritated us at the main counter as he had tried to be cheeky with us).

Suba and I waited and waited and waited and waited... Finally Suba looked at me and went, "Don't you think that your appam is probably burnt by now?" Lol. I was like YA!

Then she bent down and saw that the stove was not turned ON! @*&$(!^(%*)

We decided to be nice and still wait. Then one of them looked at us and said, "I think your appams will take another 30 mins." I stared at him and told him to keep them himself. I would have walked away if 1) I had not already paid for them and 2) I was not craving for appams!

So I still WAITED. Finally the guy took out the appams, packed them, tied the rubber band around and then put it on the table. STILL WAITING!! He did not put them in a plastic bag and hand it over to me!!!! Of all the times I had to crave for appams then.

I kept nudging Suba to ask him if that packet was ours. THEN he finally looks at us and says, "Are the appams for you or her?" directing at Suba and me. Suba just signalled him to give the bag and we were off while they were there giving their stupid cheeky smiles. EEEEESh. This is why I HATE to go TEKKA without D or my parents. STUPID FOREIGN WORKERS. (I do not care if I sound prejudiced).

Friday bhajans was a blast. Then came Saturday and I had to go for tuitions. Then bhajan in the evening at 666! It was fun as we had it in the void deck and as usual SP rocked! Sunday morning was at Gayatri house and then evening we went to Telok Blangah. We had to stand and sing due to the lack of space. Lol. We were laughing at one another and enjoying ourselves.

We got another set of bhajans coming up this weekend as well. Fri-Sun. I can't wait for Sun as it is in JB. It's fun as long as I am going over the seas!

It's already 1.40pm. Lunch break is over!

---------------

UPDATE

2008-07-21T10:51:00.005+08:00

I seriously do not know where to begin. There were so many times when I wanted to update with something but I would be just too lazy to do that. Ya old story Rajeswari is a LAZY BUM.

Anyway let me see...

SASTHA CHELLAMS' CHALET

Needless to say the chalet provided us with the break we needed before Aadi month began. The guys had loads of fun drowning in alcohol. The girls were being good. Haha. It was fun. Durga and I had to work on the Saturday. Sivaji uncle was not around. So after work I went shopping for some goodies the guys needed then met Suba and headed down to Durga's place. We drove off in the car. That reminds me... I miss driving with my ladies.

The guys were just starting the BBQ when we got there so we just slacked as usual. The BBQ night was just full of singing, talking crap, eating and drinking. I think the gals were too tired to think of anything exciting to do. The guys will be guys so they were just doing their boring stuff. :)

They were committing murder to the songs under the pretext of singing. God! Guna annae got the lyrics mixed and he kept repeating the SAME song. No thanks to the influence of alcohol of course.

Sunday we had durians! I drove to Geylang with durga, dinesh and devan (Oh wow the 3 Ds lol) Got some yummy durians and drove back. Then some people left and the guys wanted to play games. We played, fell, cursed, swore, screamed all in the name of fun. Finally we took turns to shower, squeezed people into 2 cars (annae's and sivaji uncle's) then left.

DEVAN'S BIRTHDAY

I couldn't think of what to do till the last minute. If you know him you would know he's a movie buff. So I brought him to a movie at GV GOLD CLASS. It was WOW. The seats, the reception and the food. The guy looked like a kid who had just gotten his favourite toy. lol. We watched "WANTED". The movie was not fantastic but it was ok if you are a fan of Angelina Jolie. I got him a couple of his favourite stuff and that was it. I am such a lovely girlfriend right?? (I know)*winks*

OOOOOOOO I almost forgot. On the day of his birthday I had to go to the MOM. So I met him, Dinesh, Sugu and Karthik for some birthday lunch. Devan suggested that I drive to MOM so we went and took the car. I made it to MOM when IT happened.
I was driving in my lane when some MERC tried to cut into mine and banged me!!!! My heart was beating furiously.

I pulled over and went over to the driver who was some chauffeur. He kept insisting that I was at fault while I was insisting the opposite. He had a white line on his dark blue car thanks to the white Lancer. Haha. Serves him right.

He knew I was on probation so he was taking complete advantage of me by scaring the shit out of me with words like 'police report' 'licence revoke' and what-not. Of course Devan was looking at the guy as if he was going to hit him and throw him down any moment.

I had to call Annae who assured me that nothing bad will happen. (I didn't call my dad out of fear and he still does not know so HUSH). I couldn't make a police report as there were no bodily or property injuries. I was praying so hard in my heart then. I could not make a insurance report either as Sivaji uncle was not around. I went back to Yishun dropped off the guys and headed back to Durga's place. We were going to be late for the movie and Devan was suggesting not to go. But of course I was not going to waste my $50!! Haha so we still went. We were late but the movie started late too thankfully.

Anyway in the end I paid the guy for his repair. Though I was in the right I compensated but I am a believer and I believe what goes round will come round. And if the guy had cheated me I believe that he will get cheated as well. So there! Ha! All things happen for a good reason so I am not fretting anymore.

AADI MONTH

It has begun!! We are into bhajans full swing. Everyone is exhausted but having fun! It has been madness but all worth it. After that will be mass bhajan! ahhhhhhhh

SUNDAY 20.07.08

Durga and I couldn't go for bhajans so we met and headed down to Orchard after work and tuition. We went down to Far East and got hair extensions on impluse! (The things P makes u do!) Durga got pink ones and I got reddish-brown ones. I like them. Apparently they fall off on their own after 3 months so I am going to get more after when they fall off that is if I am not bored of them by then. We walked and walked, shopped and shopped then had TURKISH food and headed down to Yishun to meet up withe guys who were coming back after BHAJAN.

WHEW that was a long post! You guys better have read every single word!

I am waiting for MASS BHAJAN so that WE can go to BATAM after that! lol. A one-day trip with my loved ones. I CAN'T WAIT!

I wanted to have a double date with my VD but we are booked for bhajans THURS-SUN! Annae has been taking up bhajan left right center!

I want to go catch a movie soon!!

I am off to lunch!!

Maestro

2008-06-30T11:56:00.002+08:00

My brother showed me this video last night and I had to put it up for you guys. Watch the whole thing it's worth it!

Announcement

2008-06-26T00:37:00.002+08:00

http://lovelyjes.multiply.com/photos/album/70/Sastha_Fiesta_08

People! Click on the above link for the Sastha Fiesta 08 pictures!

PS: Nandy I LURRRRRVE the pic we took... hehe

I am off to

2008-06-12T10:27:00.002+08:00

Penang tonight and will be back on Sunday night. Don't miss me! *winks*
It's not a trip that I am very excited about but I do not mind the break. :)

I will be missing my Sat tuition and I am hoping that my kids do not fall in love with the relief teacher. Haha

Once I am back I am going to start Elaine's tuition then I want to plan outings with all those that I have been saying that we will go out.

I wanna do more driving!

I need to get Durga's gift!

I ought to plan something for something. ermmm

Sastha Fiesta is coming up and I can't wait!

Oh then there's the chalet! We are planning to do team-building activites so I hope that enough people turn up and not the USUAL people. Pfft!

I ought to get back to work now!

I will try my best to get souvenirs and goodies for you guys!

Ciao!

Rajeswari Sambasivam is now

2008-06-03T23:44:00.003+08:00

a Class 3 Licence DRIVER!! YIPPEEE!!! All that months of waiting, going for lessons and forking out the money finally paid off and it was so worth it!

I almost screamed when the tester put a big tick in the passed box but stopped myself in time lest he changed his mind. :) I was jumping for joy inside!

I couldn't wait to tell my loved ones but I wanted to surprise them so I HAD to wait till today! Haiz. The feeling is great. Now waiting to take my girlies out for a drive...

Back from Bangkok

2008-05-21T11:56:00.003+08:00

Ok I had to remove the lil countdown clock. Haiz.

Bangkok was fun and now I am at work. Feeling tired and missing the Tom Yum Soup. :(

There weren't that many pictures taken as we were shopping most of the time. :)

MBK was too much to take and so was Platinum. :)

Floating market was a bit of rip-off but it was fun. :)

There was the swimming pool which we couldn't go to because of maintenance. :(

There was some BAD customer service. :(

Then there was a lot of GREAT customer service. :)

There was that wonderful dinner which still makes me drool now. :)

Pink taxi!! Wind-in-your-hair Tuk Tuk ride! :]

DIAMONDS (That we HAD to look at) :)

Freaky hotel room with shuddering windows and strange ringing phone! :[

Late night movies with Absolut Mango. :)

More Shopping! :)

BUFFET BREAKFAST! :))

MANGO! (the fruit) :)

Best of all the WONDERFUL company I had. :))

The trip was fantastic and I can't wait for the next one. We learnt things so we now know how to handle bookings and stuff.

In my opinion, Bangkok is purely for shopping that is if you are willing to pay for the flight. That too is not much if you are taking the budget airlines. :)

It is worth to be in a country without your parents so you can do things at your own will and pace as long as you are with people you trust and who can protect you. *winks*

It was a good break from work, bhajans, family matters and what-nots. I truly enjoyed with my girlies. Suba went wild with shopping. Durga was cam-whoring every single minute and keeping her eyes peeled for the best buys. That gal can find gold even in dumps! :)

I cannot wait to save up money and plan for the next trip and probably get more people to go!!

Oh we could videos on the return flight and I managed to Aaja Nachle. There was no storyline but it was so nice!! The musicals were so magical!! Madhuri Dixit had me mesmerised. :))

YAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!! I just received a call from Elaine and she's got the 3rd position in her class!!!! I AM ELATED!!!! Hahaha. I got to get her something as I had promised and she's forever asking for food. :)

I got work piling up so I am off now. Look out for the pictures!

Muacks!

PS: Nandini, sorry we missed your party! hope you had fun babe! Now say the date for OUR party!!

PPS: Gowri! We are back!! Let's have a date!! :)

BANGKOK DAY 1

2008-05-18T13:31:00.001+08:00

We are at the airport!!! Checked in!! Freaking excited! I think this is gonna be one of the best holidays I have been to. It's freaking cool that they got this free internet kiosks. Haha. We can keep you guys updated!

Later!!!

PMS

2008-04-28T00:17:00.009+08:00

Really.. I ought to be doing my assignment but I had an urge to blog. It must be due to the dreaded PMS. I remember reading somewhere about this gal mentioning that PMS is just an excuse for the gals to be spoiled and be mean to the people around them. I
am sorry for all those tough chicks who do not go through PMS or try not to. I must say that it is tough to be around PMS-ing girlies. But to feel cranky, emo, sad and happy at the same time is a state of euphoria of its own kind!

I for one cry for no reason at all when I am PMS-ing. No I am not crazy. It drives me nuts that I cry for no reason but I cannot stop myself at times. And it is good to let the tears flow once in a while I guess. I would have weird thoughts running in my head too. I can be really cranky with Devan at times and then real nice and sweet to him the next. If the guy ever goes nuts I swear it's all my fault.

So I am feeling a lil PMS-y at the moment. I was looking through my picture albums and saw these...

2004

2005

2006

2007

So many years and it just gets better all the time babes! My strength and joy!

Of course not forgetting you...

I love the moments we share, the fights we have and the love that we shower upon each other.
I never had someone to treasure me the way my family does.
I am glad that I am the one in your arms.

Vodka Red Bull Please!?

2008-04-16T11:16:00.000+08:00

I have to blog about last night. It was amazing.

It's been a long time since I have had that much of fun. It was worth it. Every single minute. The food, movie, songs, game, DRAMA, everything.

According to Devan I was let loose! Lol. He claimed that he had never seen me like that in our 3-yr relationship. Durga was happy that I was the idiot for once. I was on a roll. I knew I was acting crazy but I simply could not stop myself. I know I kept telling Durga,"Durga! I need to go home. Bring me home please! Durga! Stop me! I am acting weird!" Lol I cannot believe I acted that way in front of Vadi, Devan, Muthu, JAY ANNAE! Nalini Akka, Seetha Akka and Durga are my girlies so they can see me so wasted and I would not give a care.

I think Vadi was astonished and he better not blackmail me with that mini video he took! Yes, I was aware of my surroundings. It was just that I lost my ability to control my action and tongue. (",)

There were a lot of emotions yesterday. Overflowing and overwhelming. Oh my I really cannot describe it but I so want to put this in words. It was supposed to be a get-together with good food and drinks and it turned into this hyped up gathering with my favourite people.

Then there was the knocking down of door (which I do not want to elaborate on) and Durga and I freaked out and ran to the bedroom, crashed onto the bed and sort of damaged it. :)

Nalini akka was all emo and she made us feel the same way. It was fun nevertheless. Oh and the songs; god we were so into singing sappy songs. I think I sing better when I am a lil high though Vadi kept saying I was going off-key. Whatever Vadiveilan!

Hema and Nands: We will have this kind of crazy fun together soon!!! However, you will never see me get high. No way!

So there, I portrayed my other side to my loved ones. There goes my 'principle' of not getting wasted and maintaining the alcohol level and sanity in me.

It was all good clean fun in Durga's words. I had a blast. It really felt good (now I don't feel so good). And Durga, I think we owe Seetha akka a bed. *winks*

Now I am going to hydrate myself with more lime juice and get geared up for tonight's FAMILY dinner. This involves Parental Guidance and so no fooling around.

Gonna be on my BEST behaviour.

S E X

2008-04-13T23:21:00.005+08:00

You will see why I titled my post so as you read on.

I actually wanted to change my layout before I blogged but I'm a teeny bit lazy to do that now. So I rather update my boring blog.

Today evening was wonderful with my cousins! All dressed fine and keeping the family tradition going. I LOVE my family! I had so much fun. And hema, it was a wonderful surprise. The sisters came in pink! I loved your clothes gals!

I really wanted to blog about my day at the tuition center yesterday. My kids are always coming up with weird stuff. The other day I had my P6 kid ask me if I knew what a LIGER was. Call me ignorant but I seriously did not know what that was! Shame on me!

Anyway I tell him no and he goes on to tell me this, "It's when a tiger does that thing with a lion, teacher". I am more amused by the fact that he uses the word 'that thing' for sexual intercourse then the fact that such a cross-breed has occurred. Lol

So Saturday was weird. I went for my classes thinking that it was going to be a peaceful day whereby I wouldn't have to raise my voice level since it was test week. However, my kids always prove me wrong. Test or no test they are still a noisy bunch. :) Noisy or not they bring smiles to my face. I definitely look forward to my Saturdays and of course tuition with Elaine.

So my first class is with the P3s. I adore them! So there I am giving out the test papers and asking them to look through, when one kid looks at me with a question. Then the shock unfolds gradually:

Kid A(male): "Teacher, what is sex?"

ME: *Thinking WTH??!!* "Well, it is to define if you are a male or a female."

All this while I have a big smile on my face thinking that I handled the situation well.

Kid A: "No teacher. There is another kind of sex. S E X."

At that moment I was speechless. I really had no idea what to say. So I decided to change the topic but too late.

Kid B (female): "Teacher, it is when a girl and a boy go into a room and sleep on a bed together. EEEEEEwwww teacher, that is so disgusting!"

ME: *Thinking* Ya you say disgusting now. Hah!

I know that I should have stopped them but you see when children start talking they never stop till they are done.

ME: "Okay class start on your test now please and remember no talking."

Kid B: (apparently gives no care to my instructions) Teacher, then they molest each other. Right? Teacher, they molest each other right? Disgusting!"

Kid A: "Ya they will be naked."

ME: *having heard enough* "Alright class start now! You have got one hour."

Kid C: (not wanting to be outdone by the other two) "Teacher, in the dictionary the meaning of F*** is S E X."

ME: "Do your paper. Now."

God what are these children exposed to?!? I can replay the whole scene in my mind. It had created such an impact on me. It's scary but it is also amusing to see their perceptions of things in life.

Parents really ought to control what the kids see and read on the Internet and the television. Of course, we cannot control what they converse with their friends in school though. Eeesh! Talk about educating your children!

Veering from that, I finally took the plunge and straightened my hair. I went to Belong hair salon at Yishun and the service was wonderful. My stylist was Joey and she is great! I am probably heading back there to get my highlights done. It helps that they have 30% off on their services on weekdays. Also they are under Kimage so the stylists are recommended.

Anyway my hair is so light now. I love it. I loved my wavy hair too but it was a hassle to keep it long even at shoulder length and it didn't look great when short. I hate to bother with my hair. I like fuss-free hair. I always had second thoughts about straightening but after much much contemplation I did it and am happy with it. Joey also helped me get over my doubts about the whole process. :) I think I have finally found a stylist that I want to stick with for a longer time than usual.

It has been a wonderful week and I hope the next one will be as well.

before i go...

Happy Tamil New Year Greetings to You

The dream about the Bright green python

2008-04-04T09:25:00.004+08:00

I am in my office and the first thing I am doing is blogging! Well it's about time I updated. And it's just as well that I have something to blog about.

I had a weird dream in the wee hours of the morning. There was chaos, some dancing, strange train rides, a bright green python with bright yellow stripes which choked on someone and died (I know I am crazy).

Then there was someone called Jeremy. There was some eye contact, ice-cream offering, talking, laughing and the whole getting-to-know one another thingy. Though Jeremy did not at all seem my type I was attracted to him. Maybe I was just smitten by the fact that he approached me. *Giggles* I have a dream guy (who had a very cool Nokia hp) and his name is Jeremy! (or something that sounds like that)!

Devan is going to kill me.

The crazy thing was that I had a boyfriend in the dream and of course it was Devan. I found myself in a dilemma.

There was Durga, Vadi and Muthu in the dream too.

There was that Jeremy guy on my right and Devan on my left. I was thinking that I SHOULD tell Jeremy about Devan but I didn't WANT to. I was also thinking what Devan would think of me and do to me if I told him about Jeremy.

At the same time I was thinking how cute and sweet Jeremy was being. While these crazy things are going through my head Durga welcomes Jeremy into the Bhajan group!!!

I thought to myself, "Great! Now I will have my boyfriend and the guy I seem to have crush on at the same places all the time!"

Then...

Then...

Then my Grandmother woke me up.

So that was that. It was just a dream. PERIOD. (It was JUST a dream, Devan).

It is 10.10am right now and I am feeling hungry.

Gals check out my multiply site for the pics of panguni and the dance performance at Victoria Theatre!

Amusing

2008-02-29T13:56:00.006+08:00

Something that caught my attention on the CNA website.

I think it's ironical, if you know what I mean.

i hate thinking of titles for my posts unless it spontaneously pops in my head

2008-02-27T10:02:00.000+08:00

I am blogging from work. It is an indication of me rebelling. Ya. Whatever.

So V-day has come and gone and there is really no point of me going through the details. All I can say is that we enjoyed ourselves and it was pure contentment in just being able to spend time alone, by ourselves.

I had a lot of stuff to blog about but I just had no time. There were the exams which made my hands numb with all that writing. There were the days which I spent trying to memorise the Retailing Wheel and Entrepreneurship Skills. There were the moments where I cried my eyes out just for the heck of it.

In the midst of all these I still managed to go shopping for work clothes and shoes and got myself broke before the month ended.

Work has become busy not only because Panguni is coming or that we are trying to sort out a lot of other things pertaining to the organisation, it is due to the 'people' who just walk in and assume that I would do their work for them just like that. It's not easy to do handle some of the work-related tasks now I have to think about others' personal-related matters too??! It drives me mad but I cannot do anything much about it. God, I just want to graduate and move up in my life. Pls?

D has started working and pretty much adjusted to it. Our daily meetings have gone down to once or twice a week. It's not that bad, and that surprises me.

I do not seem to miss him badly. I do not seem to badly want to meet him everyday. It does not really bother me if we do not have phone conversations. SHOULD I WORRY??

I know I should be missing him but I guess I am too caught up with work to sit down and think about how much I miss him. I really hope that this IS the reason.

On the other hand, I am enjoying going back home on my own and having some ME time at home with my mother, the PC and books. I missed doing all that before. It is nice to have time to turn to that now before another hectic school term starts in Mar.

I just had a call from one of those 'people' ASKING ME TO REDO WHAT I HAD ALREADY DONE BECAUSE APPARENTLY THE PERSON NEEDS SOMETHING ELSE!!!

It's almost lunch-time and I feel sick. I am off to being sick. Later!

Nice!

2008-02-11T22:42:00.000+08:00

The video is cool. The music is nice. Saw it. Liked it. SO here it is. :)
Hope you guys like it too!

The Long Break

2008-02-08T12:52:00.000+08:00

The CNY break was something that I was looking forward to! No work and best of all no tuition on Saturday. The centre is closed for a week!

The usual plan of going to the beach was called off this year, thankfully, as many could not make it out with us. We wanted to just chill as we are always on our feet on normal days. So, we started off with breakfast at Rubinah in the morning. Then we were off for a movie. The Vadivelu movie. It was worth it. Funny and sentimental. He might not have much of a hero look but I have to say that Vadivelu can act well. We enjoyed ourselves.

After that everything was impromptu as we had not planned much and had decided to be spontaneous. I like!

Took 169 and headed down to Upper Thomson Rd for some good Indian food at Casuarina Curry.

Hmm... Not sure what they were frowning about..

Annae being shy.. D being himself.. :)

Annae being himself.. Lol

After stuffing ourselves we headed back to Yishun for some ice cream at Swensens.

By then Durga and I were tired already. I had to head back home to help mum keep an eye on Aaron and Durga needed a change of clothes. So we left, while the others went to Annae's house. Then we met again at night near the Temple. We were going walking! :)

Not a good pic of Guna Annae and Me

The walk was fun. Singing loudly on the way. Being terrified by a dog that we could not see and only hear. Lol. Haiz.

Then headed back to 200+ for some fuel

Sugu!

The Mottais

Couple 1

Blurred Couple 2

Today morning I swept the house! I am not a domestic person but I do help out. It's just that it's so rare as my mum does everything and does not really let me do anything. I know. I am pampered. I like! :)

I followed my baby Aaron and mum to Chong Pang. I always have fun with him!

I did this with a lil difficulty as it is always hard to use Blogger on Mac. Hmph.

Lunch time!!! More updates coming up later. Happy holidays!!

Emotions!

2008-01-10T13:28:00.006+08:00

I am feeling a mixture of emotions at the moment.

Happy and excited that my father is returning tomorrow morning. YAY!

Sad that D has left to JB. He will be back on Sunday and we will be keeping in touch via sms and mobile but nothing beats seeing him in person :)

Freaking Exhilarated that my laptop has been fixed, ready for collection and there was no need for re-formatting. (Flashback: My Mac was going through downtime for almost a week I had to sent it to the shop to get it fixed). I had no connection to the virtual world for almost a week (except when I was at work hehe).

Wound up about the 'party'! Can't wait!!

Stressed about the decorations I need to get done and confirm for the 'party'

Eager to go shopping to get myself something nice to wear. :)

Simply ecstatic about Pongal!!

Contemplating if I should go out now and get myself lunch....

Random thoughts... Randomness.. I babbling already.

Later!

ps- to u: I promise that we are going out on a proper date after all this hullabalo is over! I can't wait to spend some us-time!

2008- Opening Post

2008-01-08T11:20:00.005+08:00

Looking at my blog makes me feel like my life was paused for a long period of time. A lot of things have happened and are happening it was just that I was too lazy or tired to post anything. There are pictures waiting to be put online as well. I got 127 requests on my Facebook which I am too exhausted to look at. :P

I just typed out stuff about Christmas and then pressed backspace and deleted everything.

Well to make things simple. 2007 was a year which saw me getting closer to Banz and Nandini and also to my cousins Hema and Nandini. I am so glad that the first move was finally made! I am fortunate to have lovely sisters like them and it is always fun talking to these gals as they always have something hilarious, shocking or exciting to reveal!

I am going to be 25 soon! Age is definitely just a number but it just reminds me that people are going to be pushier on the fact that I should be getting married. That is just annoying. Just because they got married at 24 or 25 decades ago does not necessarily mean that I have to follow those footsteps right. I mean do I not have a right to say when I want to move on to this whole new chapter in my life?! Funnily enough these people do not encompass my parents, aunts or uncles. There are those 'aunties' and 'uncles' who obviously have nothing else to do in their lives and so poke their noses into others. I do not know if I am coming across as harsh but that is not my intention at all. It just that it gets increasingly annoying when people turn to you in weddings and say," So when is your turn?" Argh!

The truth is I am afraid of getting married. Lol. The whole idea of growing up is frightening! I am very sure at this moment that I do want to get invoved in this whole marriage thingy for now. *shudders*

Imagine moving to a new home, getting to know new people and being in a whole financial situation. Wow. It is definitely exciting but at the same time scary. I am just not prepared. Thankfully his parents are nice to be with and getting to know them is no issue at all. Though it might be a little if not a whole lot difficult getting along with his WHOLE family, I believe that I can just manage. Afterall isn't life all about giving and taking. If I would have to give a lot and take none it really isn't an issue.

If all goes well, 2008 will see me graduating with a degree! Woohoo! Like, finally! Lol. One of the goals in my life and though I might be achieving it a little late in my life I am glad that I am nearing it.

I have been wanting to take Veenai lessons once I graduate. I will have more money and time to spend on my interests after my studies are over. Hopefully I will have the time to take up classes in the later part of the year.

Graduation will also mean that I should start looking for a suitable job. Then there's the Masters that I should start working towards to. So many things and so little time. People can still question why I am not settling down yet. :>

I am giving myself another 2-3 years to get to the place that I have been dreaming of and I hope to attain that or at least something similar to it (you know if you cannot have what you want then be happy with what you get!)

I am glad that I have learnt how to move on from certain things in my life. I went through neurotic phases in 2007 which have made me see things that I refused to see or stubbornly did not believe in. Now I know that I have tried enough and that I should stop. There is no need for me to push myself when I personally do not have the interest. I will probably seem arrogant, rude and self-involved. It is alright. Life is unfair. Life is selfish. Life is short. So I am going to spend it with the ones who shower me with sincere love and I am going to spend it by caring and loving those loving ones and just tell myself to stop wasting time with those who simply do not care.

Cheers to 2008!

Bore? Boring? Bored?

2007-11-30T10:08:00.000+08:00

What's Your Destiny?

My Result: Provider

Providers are nurturing and are concerned for the welfare of others. They can recognize exactly what people need and their friendly, helpful, social nature makes them feel comforted. They have kind and generous hearts and are personable, talkative, and outward with their emotions. Their openness and sensitivity make them concerned about the way others see them. They have the capacity for profound care and sympathy for others.

Take this test >

Are You Good to Your Body?

My Result: Have Some Fun

It sounds like your body is saying, "Easy does it." You're a motivated and hard-working person who's likely to be racing around here and there or doing multiple things at once. Ambition is a great thing to have, but stress often comes with it.

Before you work through lunch again, stop and look out for yourself. Get out of the office or go for a walk. And next time you're thinking about pulling an all-nighter, why not leave early instead and go dancing with friends or just enjoy a nice, quiet bubble bath? All work and no play can be bad for your health. And so can ignoring what your body needs — things like proper hydration and cleansing antioxidants. So kick up your heels and treat your body right!

Take this test >

What's Your Pop Star Style?

My Result: Fresh 'n Sweet

You're kind and sincere with a wholesome attitude that's bound to earn you a place in the hearts of adoring fans everywhere. You're probably committed to your friends, your family, and staying true to your values — and your upbeat, forward-thinking words inspire others to stay positive in their own lives. How can anyone be down in the dumps when there's a megawatt personality like yours beside them?

You put the "pop" in popular, and your fans probably see you as one of them. And that's why your style should reflect...well...the fresh perspective of the times. From bucket hats and floral blouses to any sweet look that accentuates your girl-next-door personality — you've got a wide range of options. Just stay away from outfits that scream extreme. Sure, you might sometimes feel a little limited by this look (who doesn't want to throw on some leather now and then?) But overall, your uber-cute, fresh look is the perfect match for the values you're most passionate about. What else can we say? Rock on!

Take this test >

k this is crap

What's Your Signature Hairstyle?

My Result: Sleek and Chic

Cool and confident, you're a trendsetter who's always on the cutting edge. Sure, people like to follow in your cool footsteps, but by the time they do, you've usually moved on to something even better.

You don't mess around with styles you know won't suit you, and that's why you almost always look like you've just stepped out of a salon. No one ever had to tell you that there's spinach in your teeth or there's a hair out of place. You take the time and put in the effort to put your best foot forward. Ooh-la-la!

Take this test >

oh gosh what style?!

What Makes You a Real Beauty?

My Result: Sense of Style

You don't need a catwalk to strut your stuff. A cool and confident fashionista like you knows how to look fabulous wherever you go. You've got a good eye for what's hot and what looks good on you. And you're comfortable with who you are and what you want out of life.

Sure, you like to look great, but that doesn't mean you follow fads or listen to what other people say is right for you. You're an individual, and you make sure that comes through in everything you do, whether you're at the office, on a date, or out on the town. You can't go wrong when you're being true to yourself. That never goes out of style!

Take this test >

Hail ME!! Lol

Are You a Sex Goddess? A brilliant bolt of lightning descends! SHAZAAM! The oracle has spoken!

The smoke clears to reveal that inside you is a divine being,

DIANA, the Goddess of the Virgin Wild.

You are extremely desirable, but untouchable. As the deity of chastity and virginity, you live by your values. Your sexual desires simmer beneath a firm moral resolve. But you are far from a prude! The natural sensuality that you exude just makes you all the more desirable to your suitors. They know that your bedroom is a shrine, and you won't share it with just anyone. Wherever your journey takes you, you leave a trail of heartbroken men behind. You probably take sex very seriously, and share it only with someone that you love. You truly enjoy the romance of courtship, but you stick to the ideals you've set for yourself. Any guy who doesn't respect your boundaries is ancient history. You truly understand the meaning of love and will not settle for anything less than perfection. For the lucky guy who finds his way to your heart, suddenly the light comes shining down from the heavens. Behold, the skies proclaim, here lies a goddess!

The Religion Test

My Result: Unitarian Universalism

While the Unitarian Universalists have mixed beliefs about the existence of God, they tend to share the belief that there is something to be learned from every world religion. By accepting differences between individual spiritual beliefs, Unitarian Universalists come together under a few broad and inclusive moral ideologies. They pass their beliefs from generation to generation through their church's literature and their teachings, both of which draw on many of the major spiritual texts from a variety of religions.

Typically open-minded and intellectual, Unitarian Universalists encourage individual exploration of many different spiritual truths. They also tend to be politically liberal.

Take this test >

VEL!!!

2007-11-26T22:58:00.000+08:00

I just watched VEL! It was nice! The right amount of emotions, songs and eye-candy for me to declare it as a good entertainer. Not that I am such a great critic. lol It was definitely more worth watching than ATM. Of course I am still a VJ fan but I have to admit ATM paled in comparision to VEL.

The songs were so nice. I loved all of them. Watching Surya was...droolsss.... :) See what I mean. Anyway the movie was good. Go watch it if you have not!

2007-11-21T23:35:00.000+08:00

I love the skin. Though I cannot seem to figure out why it looks funny on IE. It looks so nice on Firefox. Oh well. I took a long time to tweak the codes a bit here and there to change colours, fonts and bla bla. So I am exhausted. I got to hit the bed early for a change.

Before I go, a song that has been on my lips..

Get Your Own Music Player at Music Plugin

I think it is lovely and of course it reminds me of my D. *blush* *blush*

I am sorry that we I have been arguing with you for the past few days. It had me thinking that the love was gone and that we were drifting apart. Of course I was just being silly. The love is always there. It just needs a little prodding to be shown. I know you know how much you mean to me... (Sorry people, period gets me emotional and sappy at times :P)

2007-10-29T15:20:00.000+08:00

I am feeling really displeased at the moment. Oh I am so frustrated!

I just met up with my Darling! I had lunch with her. After that hour plus session with her I have hereby concluded that I am a freaking lousy friend. Haiz. My gal has been having so much of problems and she never told me!!!!!

I shall not give any details as it is not right of me to talk about her issues publicly here. However, I would just love to hit the person who's hurting her! Ooooooo! My blood boils and it is taking so much of my energy to restrain myself from resorting to physical abusive means!

There! Just wanted to let that out. Later!

2007-10-27T23:57:00.000+08:00

sorry i flooded my blog with more vidz than words. HOPE U ENJOY THEM!

bored

2007-10-27T23:02:00.000+08:00

Ok I am really bored. Surfing youtube vidz has become addictive!!! BABE RMB THIS SONG?!?!
HAHA will nvr forget it.. God i miss BINTAN, or more like i miss going for a trip!!!

Another FAV

and of course my all time FAV-- A classic HAHA

and not forgetting JAYAM RAVI FAns!!
I started liking him so much after this song!!

AND THIS ONE TOO!!

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

2007-10-26T11:08:00.000+08:00

horrible backaches. bloated tummy. irritable mood. feverish body. i need to lie down.should not have worn the damned jeans. making me feel worse. i want to lie down with a hot water bag. bring me home somebody. u get the picture.

btw pravin's 21st pics r up on my multiply. Go check them out!!

da dum da dum

2007-10-22T16:35:00.000+08:00

I am aimless at work so it's time to update my blog. I think I am going to do it in parts.

Gadgets

I got a new mobile! (a 2ND hand one) Now before you go , "Wah! So rich ah!" let me tell you that it was a one to one exchange of my SE W 580i with me getting back $20! *Smirk* I am so happy with myself. I have been trying hard to save money this month and so far it is working. So, anyway this is my new hp, which by the way, is ULTRA COOL! (get it? Ultra edition? ultra cool? ok i am being lame. wth)

Mine is white in colour though. Unfortunately I cannot seem to find the white model online. So this is my new gadget. The other gadget I am using at the moment is my brother's PSP. It's so much fun and I cannot wait to get my DS LITE (Hints to D!)

Religious

I did my kumbuduthanam on Sun. It was my 3rd year and I did it with my babygal and gayatri. My first two years were pretty smooth I should say. However, this year I created a scene. Damn! After completing my 3rd round I went to get my vilakku, the next thing I knew everything was starting to turn yellow. I hate that feeling. I had it once before and it just makes you feel so queasy and all. I thought I could handle it, so I just collected my vilakku and went on to light it up. It got worse and I was thinking, "oh god! don't make me black out!" Haha.

I knew I had to sit down. The next minute my dad and uncle (durga's dad) were beside me. They followed me to get my villakku. I was feeling more terrible by the moment. My uncle was encouraging me to strengthen up. *smiles* Then it came, the horrible feeling of puking! I rushed to the side to barf. Nothing came out except for air and probably water. Then my uncle was saying what's there to vomit when you have had nothing to eat?! hehe

However, after that puking feeling everything was cleared. No more yellow stuff and I felt much much better. My uncle was telling me to follow him to the open area so I could breathe better and I was saying, "No. No. I cannot get up. I just want to sit here." Lol. So funny. Haiz.

Then my uncle said that he would help me get there. So I got up and then he bent down to lift me up in his arms! LOL. I was shocked (in a positive way, of course). Imagine being carried across the sannathi to the open area! My LOVELY family will never let me FORGET it! I quickly said, "No No mama! I can walk on my own. It's ok."

So he brought me there, sat me down and started fanning me! I felt so bad and I had to tell him it is ok and asked him to sit down. I was so touched... AWwww..

It was one hell of an experience. To think that I had to experience it during my 3rd year. Eeeeeeesh. Nevertheless it was very spiritual and I felt happy in completing my prayers for her. Moreover, doing it with my ladies was another great feeling on its own!

My Favourite Songs (at the mmt)

I am loving this song after hearing it on Vstar. I didn't even know there was such a song. It is lovely and I like Jeyam Ravi!

I like this one too!! Cute concept and the guy is so cute!

Just because I was bored

2007-10-04T23:20:00.001+08:00

The Wild Rose

Random Brutal Love Dreamer (RBLD)

colorful, but unpicked. You are The Wild Rose.

Prone to bouts of cynicism, sarcasm, and thorns, you excite a
certain kind of man. Hoping to gather you up, he flirts and winks
and asks you out, ultimately professing his love. Then you make
him bleed. Why? Because you're the rare, independent,
self-sufficient kind of woman who does want love, but not from a
weakling.

You don't seem to take yourself too seriously, and that's refreshing.
You aren't uptight; you don't over-plan. Romance-wise, sex isn't
a top priority--a true relationship would be preferable. For your
age, you haven't had a lot of bonafide love experience, though,
and this kind of gets to core of the issue. You're very selective.

The problem is them, not you, right? You have lofty standards
that few measure up to. You're out there all right, but not
to be picked up by just anyone.

Your exact female opposite:

The Dirty Little Secret

Deliberate Gentle Sex Master

Always avoid: The Bachelor (DGSM)

Consider: The Vapor Trail (RBLM)

Link: The Online Dating Persona Test @ OkCupid - free online dating.

2007-09-27T09:22:00.000+08:00

I felt writing about this before I start work today. There is no reason at all for this entry. I am doing it because I feel like doing it.

Yesterday morning I woke up to a startling message on my mobile. An acquaintance's mother had passed away. This acquaintance also happens to be D's cousin. I did not know the mother well so it did not create much impact on me. However, it was upsetting when I realised that two girls had just lost their mother at a young age.

I went to the house with my parents. My fourth funeral. The ever first one was Pravin's grandfather's. I used to hate to attend funerals. I would refuse to go when my parents attend any. I had no choice when it was my own grandfather. It was time I faced reality. After that it was just worse to go for any. Every funeral just reminds me of my grandfather's.

I digressed. Anyway, I was happily chatting with my mother till I entered the house. I could feel my hairs stand. I did not like the feeling. I could not bring myself to look at the face. I paid my last respects and went to sit with Suba (Thank god she was there). My whole body was trembling. My hands were shaking and my legs could not stand strongly. I knew I had to leave the place. I could not handle it. Thankfully, I walked out with Suba.

This morning it dawned on me how at the funeral I did not talk to so many people and how I interacted with so little people. These people are D's relatives. Though I knew many of them even before I knew D it was amazing how they were willing to look at me like I do not exist just because I am D's girlfriend. Ya, weird bunch of people. However, I have to be grateful because God gave me those few people who are sincere with me.

I rather talk and bond with people who really want to know me and really like me than those who talk to you when they feel like it and only just because they have to. Sometimes I tell myself to forget the past and move on. I have tried many times to bond with people whom I detested once upon a time. Then again, their actions and reactions just brings the relationship back to square one.

Oh God! Am I making any sense here?? I am just typing as it comes to my mind. I cannot seem to stop this verbal vomit.

Sometimes I wonder what I did wrong. There were even times when I wanted to end it all due to this pressure.

Imagine being in an union which is not whole-heartedly blessed by all.

What can you say or do about people who just do not want you to be together for their own selfish reasons?

What can you feel when the people who are supposed to support you turn around and ask you to destroy the relationship and simple ask your better half to find someone else?

How more hurt can you be when the first thing someone utters, when they hear of your relationship, is that you and your soul mate should be separated at all costs? (This incident is one that I can never and will never forget)

Then how would you feel when someone hates you even before you know each other, and they simply hate you because someone they love told them to do so?

How would you react when you are judged negatively for your actions which were purely committed for your loved ones, exactly what they were doing too?

It does hurt in a strangely numb manner especially when these people should be playing a very important part in your life.

It may all sound like figments of my wild sadistic imagination but it is true. It has happened and is happening still. I am awaiting the day it will all end but I doubt that that day will ever dawn on all of us.

PS: I am fine. Really. I just felt like typing out my feelings. Once out here I feel much better and it helps me to move on.

PPS: I am missing you so much....

Do I want to be accepted afterall?
Is it important to me or you or anyone at all?
Will they ever change?
Will they ever realise that this is meant to be?
If they do not, does it matter?
If they ever do, then I know
Miracles do EXIST...

A WELL-DESERVED BREAK

2007-09-25T20:50:00.001+08:00

Alrite! I am back! After that depressing post I am all set to start this one feeling perky! BINTAN WAS SUPERB! (YAY! Durga, we finally travelled over the seas without our parents!) In fact thinking about it now I MISS IT SO MUCH!

It was not only the place I should say it's also the people I went with. They made it more enjoyable and memorable for me. I wished we had stayed longer. We had decided that this trip should not be the last, we want to do it every year! PHUKET next year! (that is subject to changes of course)

Here are some pictures!

You can see more at my multiply!

After returning from Bintan we had one more exciting outing lined up. Sentosa with SASTHA CHELLAMS! It was wonderful! So much fun, so much laughter and in the end it all ended with good food and sleepy good-byes.

As you can see I do not wish to bore you with details because 1) it is so tedious to type all of it out and 2) no amount of flamboyant description can describe how I felt and am still feeling!

To conclude this entry I want to shout out to all those (hema, nanz, Banu etc) who were concerned after reading my previous post, I LOVE YOU ALL!!

Thanks for asking guys. I am fine now. I hope it remains permanent. I guess I am slowly picking myself up (Thank god!). LOVES TO ALL!! You guys rock my world! (Yes you too my Babygal!)

:)

2007-09-17T23:41:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I really feel that I cannot breathe. Then it happened literally and threw me off balance. That was a weird episode. I came out of it like it never happened but strangely I seem to have lost the fighter in me. My willpower seemingly has fallen into a deep abyss, never to emerge again.

Work has become a killer. Those of you who think that I can afford to waltz in to work at my own will or play hooky from work. You are so wrong. Everything has changed and so has my work load. On the contrary, I like my job, as bizarre as it may sound. The mind says LEAVE while the heart says STAY. That is a freaking dilemma.

Tuitions have taken their toll on me. I cannot afford to quit that too. Think of all the financial means going down the drain. Oh no. Never.

I have lost the determination to complete my course and graduate. Maybe it is the daunting fact that I have completed all my core modules and it is the bloody electives which are making me lag. Maybe it is the fact that I started this term by chanting 'I hate business'. Maybe it is just that I cannot seem to pick my lazy ass up and slog through the remaining three terms. Eesh I have really lost my motivation to strive. I hope I find it soon. I have had enough of doing last minute assignments with no clue as to what I am asked to do and with no knowledge as to whether what I have handed in makes sense. "I Really Hate Business" no wait... "I LOVE BUSINESS" Aummmmm......

I want to snuggle down deep into my bed and sleep for 8hrs straight with no interruptions. I want to shop with my mind free of troubles and thoughts pertaining to anything even remotely concerned with work, family, friends or school for that matter. I want to take the effort in dressing up everyday and stop looking like I-just-grabbed-what-i-could in the morning (that is what i do actually). Bleagh!

I NEED A BREAK! And so the Bintan trip has come in the nick of time to rescue me from the clutches of stress. Counting down the hours now.......

Another One

2007-09-07T07:35:00.001+08:00

Yes yes I am blogging from work. Yes I do have work piling up behind me on my huge desk but I am not the least bothered. I am too tired to sit and look at numbers at this moment. So, to get my mind off things I am instead slumped in front of the pc and typing this.

This is superfluous but I want to say it. SRI SASTHA PILLAIGAL MEGA MASS BHAJAN WAS A RESOUNDING SUCCESS! I cannot believe that 4 days have already passed! It seems like it was just yesterday. The event was full of happy people (well, almost), happy things and happy moments. Happy happy happy!

I am proud to say that Sri Sastha ladies were the efficient organisers of this event. We fell hard many times throughout this process but picked ourselves up quickly and sprinted on to the finishing line. A big hug and sincere gratitude to all who cooperated with me and stood by me through this.

The event helped us realise many things. It helped me get closer to Banu n Nandini and I am very glad about that. God knows why the gals were afraid of us. Whatever the reason was, it is great that the fear has now melted away and has been replaced with sincere care and love. I hope this bond will grow to be stronger babes!

I got to stop here now and do some serious work. Meanwhile you guys can watch this video we took when we went to Sentosa for Vadi's birthday. It is hilarious! Durga and I making huge fools of ourselves. I look so retarded and Durga... well she looks durga-ish... Haha

Untitled

2007-08-31T10:52:00.000+08:00

I love it when I am all stirred up to write something. Nowadays I just cannot bring myself to write about random things happening in my life. I got to be emoting in order to be blogging, I guess.

What is it with people who vaguely know me to judge me as hot-tempered? Yes. I am someone who easily gets irritated, I throw temper tantrums once in a while and I do get infuriated with people who cannot get the simplest things right even if it might be something I might make mistakes at. (Blame my dad, probably passed down from him, that is if genetics play a role) I am a true-blue bitch, so sue me.

Why am I suddenly talking about this? Well, I guess it is because people had me thinking, am I that evil?? Do I look that scary?? I did not even know that I look like someone who is going to bite your head off when you ask me something. If I do look like that then I guess that is what makes me Rajeswari Sambasivam.

I used to have serious issues with my temper. However, I know myself (I do not need anyone to justify me) that I have changed a little. I control my emotions more then ever.

I am sick of people thinking twice to say something to me because they think that I might flare up at them. I am sick of people ASSUMING my reactions to be always mixed with anger.

If I irritate you or if I nag you there is a reason for it. It goes beyond a mere relationship to understand that part of a person. One would only be a pain in someone else's life when they TRULY care for that person.

There is only one person who will know how I feel being me and that is..... me. It applies for every other individual. When people say, "I know how you feel truly," the truth is they do not. No one does! The degree of emotions varies when you are the first person as compared to someone who is standing by and watching.

I did not start this out to let people know that I am not as mean and scary as they think I am. I just wanted to let it out. No objectives or underlying meanings intended.

This is how I am. I do not pretend about how I feel towards you. I do not try TOO hard to like you if I have started disliking you. I do not put up a false front to make you happy.

I do bitch about people if I feel like it. It is actually a kind of stress reliever you know. I do have negative feelings about many things and express them subtly if necessary. I do make direct, sarcastic remarks when I feel agitated. I do go all out for the people whom I truly care for. I do try hard to impress those that are high on my list. I do look past all the flaws of my loved ones and love them even more, like how they do for me. I do at times be a pain in everyone’s necks. If you cannot live with it then I suggest you do not. :)

Before people out there go around trying to figure out whom or to which incident I am directing this blog at: DISCLAIMER- The contents of this entry do not speak of anyone in particular or of any incident for that matter. If any feelings of hurt are instilled in any individual as a result of this entry, please refrain from reading it again. (: This entry is merely the expression of the blogger’s feelings.

After all is that not what a blog is for?

PS. DURGA! I still cannot put up that sentosa video!! ARGH!

So Random!

2007-08-19T23:25:00.000+08:00

ok totally random post.. I am being bugged to update. There's always a ton of things that i wanna blog about but I just lose the enthusiasm to blog when i settle myself in front of my pc. Haha. Anyways.... I got myself A NEW HP AND A HAIRCUT! Like finally.. I can now cross those two things off my list!

So this is my stylo Milo hp.. HAhA! Cool eh! Well i think it is. After much contemplation I settled for this and it was truly Love at FIRST sight.

I had my eyes on this intitally

then when i went to the shops to confirm the price and make the buy, i saw the 580i... LOVED IT! Thought that a walkman hp was not much of a use since D had gotten me a ipod nano but what the heck. I might LEND the ipod to my brother. Hehe. So ya this buy was on impulse.

Haircut was also done on impulse when D and I went down to Clementi to get my textbooks. Then the next day i got my fringe rebonded! I never thought that i would get my hair rebonded even if it is just the fringe. I love it though!

Other than that...

----> MASS BHAJAN IS COMING!!! Durga! I am going to kill you! I don't know why but yea please be prepared to DIE!

----> I got to start flipping through my textbooks! By the way, BUSINESS SUCKS! It is really not my forte.

----> I got to do the expense list for mass bhajan!! i don't want to do!!

----> I really ought to start creating those plaques. In other words I ought to start typing those names and editing the image. Bleagh!

----> I got to spend some time with D before he starts throwing tantrums.. :)

That's all for the moment. Eesh. I finally uploaded the mini movie clip we had when we went to Night safari.. For your viewing pleasure!

ALIVE!

2007-07-27T10:25:00.000+08:00

My blog is finally more alive than ever! Haha. I came across this video on youtube! Check it out!

These are the books I have been reading over the few weeks. Now Durga will say,"See! I told you Jes is a book freak!!" Haha. Anyway I decided to put them up to show that not all books are BORING!!

There's always something to cater to your literary inclinations. Azizah will always ask me how the hell I read books! There are some which turn me off. Those with numerous pages and really tiny words repulse me. Old-time novels from authors like Nora Roberts are a no-no for me. I am sure she is a wonderful writer but I am not drawn to her books.

A few authors that I like and off the top of my mind will be Dan Brown, Johnathan Kellerman (fantastic at psychological thrillers!), John Grisham (legal thrillers) Sidney Sheldon (expertise in thrillers too), Jennifer Crusie (romance and humour) and Sophie Kinsella (romance and humour).

That's what I can recall for now. Sophie Kinsella books are hard to put down and a must-read. Durga, you must admit you love her books as well (:

The latest one that I read by Jennifer Weiner, Little Earthquakes is very touching and at the same time has a tinge of humour in it. I love books like that. Romance with humour is much appealing than those sickly soppy romance novels, at least to me. Jennifer Weiner is also the author of In Her Shoes, the movie with Cameron Diaz. Little Earthquakes is about pregnant mothers getting their lives together, being power mothers and saving their marriages. It was really touching.

Anyone But You by Jennifer Crusie is a short story and it is humorous. It is about this divorcee getting romantically involved with a younger man. If you are the romantic sucker you should get it.

I have already spoken about Angels and Demons in my last post. I have to say that if you are one who is simply not interested in science, religion or suspense, well, don't bother. This one can taste your patience if you only enjoy reading magazines. That's definitely not an insult. Like I said before everyone one of us have different preferences of reading materials. Just because you enjoy reading only magazines does not mean you are not proficient in your languages and just because you read tons of books it does not mean you are ermm boring! *hint* (:

Hopefully this did not turn out to be a boring entry. I think it is a refreshing change to my daily blah blahs and rants about how hypocritical someone is or how I hate the sight of some people. Maybe I will do this more unless of course Durga gives me the STARE and puts a stop to it. Haha.

Maybe I will blog about food next, my other love of my life!

Toodles!

2007-07-26T12:37:00.000+08:00

Finally on Sunday we managed to celebrate Devan's birthday. We had planned to go for dinner then Night Safari on the actual day since he mentioned he had never been there before. However, as some of you know, that did not happen due to certain circumstances.

Anyway, during the weekend we decided to go for that postponed dinner and outing. I have to say that the weather was a huge disappointment to me. As I felt tuition to meet D I realised it was drizzling! ARGH!

We still made our way to Yishun SAFRA where we were to have our dinner. On the way, we were still contemplating on whether to go for Night SAFARI since the weather was simply not on our side. Dinner was no lip-smacking affair but it was nice to spend time together, having our meal by the pool.

During dinner, I decided rain or no rain I am having that outing! So, I smsed Durga. What's an outing without my favourite couple? *winks* I was hoping in vain that the rain will gradually stop. Alas, it never did and we went on our little trip in the rain with a small umbrella just for the gals and Vadi's @#$@ *ahem* helmets!

We saw many animals and I have to admit I was excited at seeing them. How often do you come up close to the 'wild'? Being separated from them by 'only' a thin, proven non-breakable glass was an experience of its own. Perhaps the fact that I was on this trip after so long explains the enthusiasm too.

After seeing the animals it was time for some Ben and Jerry's. It was yummy as always. Then after some cam whoring and video shooting we called it a day! On the way home, I told D that our next trip should be the Zoo! Or the Bird Park! He just gave me a blank look. Ha-ha. By the way, he was also fascinated with the Night Safari trip, so there!

Then again I want to go to Sentosa! Durga! I want to go to SENTOSA! Let's go! Plan!

That aside, I had finally managed to get my hands on Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. I read his The Da Vinci Code and he had me enthralled. When I found out that Angels and Demons was his first book I was adamant on borrowing it. After months of waiting I finally managed to get the book. As expected, the book is fascinating. I just wanted to mention this paragraph that I read in it. It is religious but it applies to all in my opinion. Also, it sort of reflects my feelings about God.

It's this part in the story when a guard goes up to the priest and asks how God can be omnipotent AND benevolent when there are so many tragedies occurring which contradict this. The priest then tells him,
"Imagine you had an eight-year-old son, would you love him?"

"Of course."

"Would you let him skateboard?"

Chartrand did a double take. The camerlengo always seemed oddly "in touch" for a clergyman. "Yeah I guess," Chartrand said. "Sure, I‘d let him skateboard, but I’d tell him to be careful."

"So as this child’s father, you would give him some basic, good advice and then let him go off and make his own mistakes?"

"I wouldn't run behind him and mollycoddle him if that's what you mean."

"But what if he fell and skinned his knee?"

"He would learn to be more careful."

The camerlengo smiled. "So although you have the power to interfere and prevent your child's pain, you would choose to show your love by letting him learn his own lessons?"

"Of course. Pain is part of growing up. It's how we learn,"

The camerlengo nodded. "Exactly."

I would say this is beautifully put. The use of the metaphor is simple but yet so meaningful. All our troubles in life are part of growing up and learning about survival. Yes, the troubles at times seem a bit too intense and tragic but still we learn from it. Facing life with a smile is sometimes very hard to do. Filter the pain and sorrows then you will realise the lesson that you are meant to learn from it.

Hope this did not bore you just felt like putting it up. THIS BLOG IS ALIVE!!

Adios!

Ps. there are no pictures of the outing as I am doing this from work so look out for them in my multiply site!

2007-07-18T14:38:00.000+08:00

AHHH!! I am being threatened to update! (:

Well.. There has been a lot of things on my mind. It's just that some things are not meant to be said. (:

I have been shopping! Though I told myself that I wouldn't this month. I couldn't help it. I can reassure myself by saying that all the stuff I got were good deals! Heh heh. They really were! Finally got the suspenders I wanted!

Classes have started! I am doing my electives now so all my psych friends are like not with me. Eesh. Boring! I was a bit apprehensive about my new business modules. Since, it is a totally different area from Psych. Then the other day I was talkin to my friend and she managed to put me at ease. Being in the business industry she knew what it was all about and apparently if you can handle psych, business is a breeze!*fingers crossed*

It's just that distance learning is not easy. Information has to be forced out from people and you have to be in the loop. Once you are out of the circle you might just lose critical information about exams and assignments. The lecturers are not the sort who really care as it's just their part-time job. So, you have to be really in touch with your classmates and the lecturer overseas.

I had that well-controlled in my psych modules and now this deep into my studies I have to go back to square one and re-establish a good foundation so that I can be assured of credits and merits (or at the very least passes). I am not very happy about it being that introvert I am. Of course, I got no choice. 6 electives to being a u-graduate! I got to slog!

I got to go for my tuition now. I predict that Elaine is going to give me stress by answering my questions with shrugs and I DON'T KNOW! (:

I remind myself: Teaching can be a pain at times and to be a teacher it can get really hard. However there's relief when the child can understand what you trying to put across, there's a sense of accomplishment when the child achieves academically and then there's pure joy when the child looks up to you with innocent, clear eyes and says in faltering English, "Ms. Rajes, I like you. You so funny and pretty. See you next week!" and then runs off leaving me standing there with a huge smile on my face and in my heart.

Before I go, some pics! My brother is in NS now and I have been missing him like crazy! Everytime he calls I get excited! These are pictures we took when he came back after his first 2 weeks. Nerdy glasses and 'botak' haircut!

2007-06-27T10:56:00.000+08:00

I want to blog. I got no idea about what though. I just felt like I needed to update this space.

Well, to begin with random things, Durga's 21st party has come and gone. I have uploaded the pictures but have not edited them to post them. :P

It was fun preparing for the party and the actual event was double the fun. It was great to see all the relatives and friends. Being on the dance floor with my cousin sisters was so enjoyable, especially when Durgasini joined in!

It hit me recently that my lil sisters have grown up. To me, Hema was always the young one and I always saw them (my cousins) as my little 'innocent' sisters. Then again, to think about it, Hema's 18! (Eesh I am so old!!) Wow! There's lot she would know that I have been thinking she would not. It was a revelation.

I guess it's the age group. It's like how Durga felt comfortable sharing things with me only after attaining a certain age. It's not much of the gap, it's more of the maturity. There were times when I would not know what to talk with my cousins. Times have changed thankfully and I am glad that we are getting 'closer' in cyberspace at least :)

We might not see each other often and we might not bond that close but I am happy to say that we love and care for one another in a silent manner.

I guess I am just thrilled that I have started 'bonding' with my lil ones and I hope that things will grow stronger!!

My bro is coming back on the 29th!! 2 more days!! I can't wait!!

2007-06-20T23:09:00.000+08:00

i had to put this. Apologies for the vulgarity... Specially dedicated to the u-know-whos in my life.. Enjoy!

2007-06-20T22:53:00.000+08:00

Songs that suit my current mood

2007-06-11T15:52:00.000+08:00

I am so relieved that my exams and assignments are over. No more deadlines to meet and no more cross-cultural gibberish to read. The wait for the results is of course nerve-racking.

Meanwhile I am keeping myself busy with my babygal's 21st Birthday Bash. At the rate the plans are going, it is going to be a blast! I am keeping my finger and toes crossed!! I just hope everything will turn out well, at least if not as planned. Haha.

Then there's the Mega Mass Bhajan that the girls are busy with. It's one heck of a headache at times. However, I thrive on stress and a chaotic lifestyle.

I got D's birthday coming up as well. I have something in mind but I am not sure whether it would work. Idea still in the works… Hmmmmmmm…

My brother is going to commence every guy's mandatory 2-year service in the army on June 16. I am going to miss him!! I am going to return to an empty room everyday. L

It struck me the other day how my brother and I have always shared a room since young. There was the issue of privacy back then but eventually we got used to it and it even felt uncomfortable when one of us was not around. I remember once when I returned from a camp and my brother was saying how he missed me! Haha. Well that was when he was young. I can forget about him saying it now. There’s always something about guys and them being mushy with their mothers and sisters.

So… yes I am so going to miss him. I will not have anyone to be grumpy with or share my day’s happenings with when I go home. I will not be able to feel the presence of someone in the room with me. Eeesh.

Well… that's that. I hope he will return much more a man than he is now. *winks*

On an entirely different note, I need a haircut! It's getting real thick and I cannot stand it especially in this glorious weather. Oh, with highlights please! *Smirks*

2007-06-08T23:22:00.000+08:00

Sastha Pillaigal made its debut bhajan in JB!!! The temple was beautiful and the Amman looked breathtaking. It was a different experience. The way the people there live, talk and behave in social situations is totally different from us. I envied how carefree they could be.....

I do want to go back to see the amman and of course the people there! The way the little children asked us when we were going to be back was so touching...

Enjoy the pictures which can be found on my multiply!

...................

2007-05-14T00:32:00.000+08:00

I want to get this:

And this:

Presents are not meant for birthdays alone. Feel free to pamper me! Haha. Ok I am so gonna burn a BIG hole in my pocket by buying BOTH of these. I have not decided when but soon. The K800i has been on my list since the beginning of the year! Well, priorites, they just simply stop you from succumbing to temptations.

Haiz.. oh and add a haircut with a colour job on that list as well.. I am working to get to all them soon!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO THE LOVELY MOTHERS!

2007-05-11T15:22:00.000+08:00

So… I am back with another post, a long one. I can hear Gowri and Durga say, 'Finally la'. Haha. Sorry peeps but I had no drive to blog. Not that nothing has been happening in my life. It’s more like too many things have been happening and at the end of the day I just want to sleep.

The couples' night was great fun! For those visual creatures check out my link to my multiply.

It was always double dating with VD now it was triple dating with SS. It was so much of fun with the ladies. Like how Ravi Annae always say, "My gals always know how to have fun and boogie on the dance floor. The boys are boring!" Well, the boys do know how to have fun it’s just that their idea of fun differs entirely from the girls'.

So there we were, the girls, drinking, eating and making merry while the guys looked on and made sure we would not get tipsy. Heh heh.

Dinner was at Cuba Libre that came with an eye-popping bill. Well, it was eye-popping for the guys, especially Vadi and Devan. They were going on and on about how it cost so much and it WAS NOT filling for THEIR stomachs. Haiz. Durga, our men are so Tamilan. They are just never satisfied if they never dip their hands in curry. Haha

The AWW factor is that they agree to do this because they know how we like to fine dine occasionally. Moreover we only burn a hole in our pockets once in a while. Well, I earn it so I choose how I want to spend it in wise manner, evidently.

Anyway dinner was lip smacking. Ooooo I can remember the rum-glazed chicken and the lamb shank yummy. After the ‘stomach-filling’ dinner we walked down to Café Iguana. We had drinks there. Thankfully, we did NOT go for dinner there. The nachos we ordered to munch on came with a dip that seriously looked and tasted like tomato chutney! It was so dry. When we ordered it Sangeetha and I were fantasising about drippy spicy cheese in the end I got chutney that didn’t even taste moderately good.

So the gals had magarita and shots while the guys looked on, again. The rest convinced Devan to try this particular shot which was described as flaming and we all thought it would be literally flaming on the rim as such a drink existed. Alas, when it came it looked so calm. No flames! Haha. The flaming referred to the spicy level and we all know how Devan ‘loves’ spicy stuff. So that was pretty much it for the couples’ night. We will probably go for another one when the next payday comes!

On an entirely different note, I have hit 24. Ya I know it is going to be about 2 months since that happened. It seems to have got into people that I am supposed to get matrimonially hitched NOW. Weirdoes. I hate the fact that the word ‘marriage’ is being casually dropped into many conversations I have especially with those aunts and uncles. Give me a break! Even my parents are not pushing me into it (thank god for that).

I am not ready for that next phase of my life. It’s just so much of work. Getting a house, putting together a dream wedding, making sure both sides of the families are happy, etc, that’s not effortless at all.

The idea just scares me. Sometimes I wonder why people get married and I come up with this:

1) To get no rumours running about oneself when you are out the particular woman or man (you know how Indians like to whisper behind your back when you are spotted with one person frequently with no matrimonial chain around your neck.)

2) To procreate! (Hey eventually it is the sex) of course there is still the premarital sex (having intercourse with the person you are going to get married to) but people have principles and one of them would probably be not to engage in sexual activities before the traditional marriage is over and done with.

If you ask me I cannot think of anything else. If love is a bond that unifies two hearts, what’s marriage? Do not mistake me as someone who is against marriage. I am most definitely not.

To me it's fairly fine to cohabitate with your partner without getting legally or traditionally married (whether you want to have a sexual relationship or not lies totally on one's own perceptions of life).

Obviously I am going to get livid stares if I say this aloud to my family. What is wrong with trying to see how it is to live with the person you want to be with for the rest of your life? What is wrong in trying to find out if you ARE making the right decision? There are people out there who get divorced 1 month into the marriage! Courtship is entirely different from living with each other.

Deviation: It's funny how in our teens, Durga, Muthu, Saran and I would talk about getting away from our families when we were in our 20s and get a flat to live on our own. Yea we built castles in the air, deep down inside we knew it would not happen.

Simple truth is some parents just do want to let go off you no matter what. Well, who knows I might be like that with my own children.

I would not label these parents old-fashioned or conservative. Letting your child get out there and bring back any guy every other day is not open-mindedness. There are parents who want to be hip and cool so as to be friends with their children. Well, draw a line as to how hip you want to be. Do not lose your morals along the way.

Like I mentioned, it's fine to cohabitate. Would I want to live with my partner? Well, that has an entirely different response. I am not going to get bowled over if I hear someone say that they are cohabitating. Just because that does not disturb me does not imply I would not mind doing it.

I have my principles and idea of living life. I try my best to live my life within the restrictions my parents have for me. I have unmistakably bent around these restrictions a bit to get a breath of fresh air, who doesn’t?

If my parents are going to be against cohabitation then I guess I would have to live with it, right? There are SOME restrictions that we can put up with.

Reading back, I have absolutely how I ended up with a post like this. No, I did not start this because I am thinking of moving in with D. Just one of my random thoughts.

Now I am off to mark the compositions that my tutees have written so wonderfully for me.

2007-04-17T09:01:00.000+08:00

I AM BACK!!

It has been a chore trying to log onto Blogger. I finally resolved the issue today. Phew! So as you all can see I decided that my blog needed a new look. Though I very much loved my previous one there was a ~~need~~ urge to change.

The Tamil New Year has come and gone. It was exciting. As usual the Karpayah Family met in the Temple in our finest clothes for our yearly prayers. It's a must and if you feel the BOND you will NEVER miss it for ANYTHING!

It was so nice to see my bro and Ravin begin part of the group carrying the Lord around the Temple. My lil cousins were there and it was MAHES' Bday as well. She was looking pretty in her traditional clothes. :)

After all the hulla ballo the family slowly dispersed. Now the next family event will probably be Durga's 21st Party!

Sunday was to be spent with D (duh!) after not spending anytime with him at all during the week. So started off with my tuition in the morning which I was late for (ok so what else is new?). I met up with D after that and he started pestering me to call Sangeetha! She had bought a new puppy and he so badly wanted to see it. So we met the couple at SunPlaza, had lunch and walked back to their new flat.

The puppy is so freaking CUTE! Ahhhh!! It is tiny and so active. In 30mins I found out that Yogi (the puppy) likes to be pampered, likes to chew on denim, likes to bite almost anything and simply loves to be cuddled. I cannot wait to see him again! (Since she lives 5 mins away from me it is even more tempting!)

We were just slacking when VD called, gave them directions and they joined the group. Durga loves dogs so it was no surprise that she 'pounced' on it the mmt she got there.

We waited for Sangeetha's in-laws to leave before we bathed Yogi, made him comfortable and left to have a late lunch and early dinner. On the way back we decided to watch a movie and settled on watching Mr Bean's Holiday. VD could not join us. So it was jus the 4.

The movie was ok. Lame and funny. Walking back with Sangee and Suri we had so much to talk. Suri and D were going on about army stuff, I think. Sangee and I paired up and talked about family and settling down stuff. We talked and talked and talked. Wow. Haha finally realised it was late, and headed back home.

I seem to have lost the will to fight, party and even do anything remotely fun. It will be horrifying to know that I might be turning into a boring person!

Truth is I am so worn out physically and mentally. There are classes, work (which is killing me), tuitions, SC and D!

It has been months since we went out on a proper date!
It has been months since I freaked out with my ladies.
It has been months since I bothered dressing up for something with the whole works, make up etc.

I AM turning into a dull person!
SOS!!

It has been decades since I shopped! Every time I open my ‘wardrobe’ I see the same stuff that I have been seeing for months now. So I get sick and just too tired to choose anything. In the end I lean back on my trusted jeans and t-short combi. EESH!

It’s time I put up a to-do and a to-buy list I think… let me go get started on it right away.
Adios!

2007-03-08T11:26:00.002+08:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

I found this really cool so had to try it. Go ahead and try it too.

All I have been doing on this blog is putting up quizzes but not any posts with substance. It is not that I have got nothing to say but it is more like of a lack of time to put up something of worth (is that the right way of putting it?)

So for now it will be just this mundane blogging.....

2007-03-02T10:58:00.001+08:00

I want to escape being me.
I want to sit back and watch the world go by.
I want to relax.
I want to de-stress.
I want to read a book.
I want to get my gift done for D.
I want to sit and watch a show, any show.
I want to have a conversation with my mum, a long one.
I want to lie on my bed for more than six hours straight.
I want to make the oreo cheesecake.
I want to chill at a pub.
I want to go on a shopping spree with my girlies.
I want to be free of responsibilities.
I want to knock myself out with alcohol.
I want to go out without having to think of work or anything else.
I want to spend quality time with my loved ones.

I do not want to be at work.
I do not want to go for my class.
I do not want to teach my tutees.
I do not want to think of accounts.
I do not want to do the darn accounts.
I do not want to reply to the smses.
I do not want to pick up calls.
I do not want to do the stuff I wrote on my to-do list.
I do not want to think of my pending work for next week.
I do not want to talk to anyone.
I do not want to do any work.
I do not want to use the freaking tam***!
I do not want to get a headache (which is starting anytime soon).
I do not want to do this.
I do not want to be ME. (Prob just for a day ;p)

I NEED SLEEP!

2007-02-23T12:00:00.000+08:00

You are like a baby
One that needs to be pampered, kissed, touched and cared for constantly

I feel the intense need to protect you
At all times

I rebuke, I nag, I rant and rave
Not to put you down
It is to let you see what is it like REALLY

If I did not care
I will not bother

The times I get exasperated
I stop and remind myself
That deep down inside of me is pure love
For you

Then I remember
You are my Baby

2007-02-22T14:36:00.000+08:00

Random random..

You Are Very Happy

Your life is totally together, and you enjoy every day.
And you don't need a quiz to tell you that!
You know how to find pleasure in the little things...
And even when life isn't so great, you have a good sense of perspective.

How Happy Are You, Really?

Am I?? :))

How You Life Your Life

You are honest and direct. You tell it like it is.
You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think.
You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly.
You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.

How Do You Live Your Life?

Something to think about...

Your Hair Should Be Pink

Hyper, insane, and a boatload of fun.
You're a traveling party that everyone loves to follow.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

PINK!!! HAHA!

2007-01-31T16:15:00.002+08:00

Your results:
You are Mystique

Mystique		60%
Dark Phoenix		55%
Apocalypse		49%
Catwoman		45%
Juggernaut		40%
Riddler		40%
Dr. Doom		38%
Poison Ivy		36%
The Joker		34%
Lex Luthor		32%
Magneto		30%
Venom		27%
Kingpin		26%
Mr. Freeze		19%
Green Goblin		16%
Two-Face		12%

Sometimes motherly, sometimes a beautiful companion, but most of the time a deceiving vixen.

Click here to take the Supervillain Personality Quiz

2007-01-31T16:15:00.001+08:00

Your results:
You are Supergirl

Supergirl		93%
Superman		75%
Green Lantern		75%
Wonder Woman		68%
Robin		60%
The Flash		60%
Hulk		50%
Iron Man		50%
Catwoman		45%
Spider-Man		25%
Batman		25%

Lean, muscular and feminine.
Honest and a defender of the innocent.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...

Muscular? Feminine? LoL (I am still trying to get in touch with my feminine side)

2007-01-24T11:45:00.000+08:00

Disclaimer: This entire post is written based purely on the writer's own views. Any reference or similarity seen or made to anyone's life is definitely coincidental.

This is not 2 posts in one day considering the fact that the previous entry was drafted 2 days ago. Anyway, I ought to be doing work right now, but I am just so annoyed with the priest so I am going to make him wait. Hmph!

Just had this thought going through my head. What makes up true love? I am not referring to the TRUE LOVE that is defined by tamil movies or fairytales. I am talking about true love which basically involves 2 people being true to each other. This was triggered by a post I read from somewhere.

Is it true love when they say I LoVe You to each other?
Is it true love when the gal puts her whole trust on the guy and the guy goes around her back shagging other gals?
Is it true love when the guy loves the gal with his whole heart and the gal goes around his back flirting dangerously with other guys?
Is it true love when you go all out and hurt everyone around you for love?

It is funny how some ladies think that it is all fine to sleep or go on intimate dates with random men even when they are apparently attached to Mr. Blablabla. The same goes for some men without being said. I once had this guy friend who told me that he goes and picks up girls from clubs even when he has a very steady girlfriend. Of course, the girlfriend did not know that she had such a moron for a boyfriend. The guy's explanation? He felt that being in a steady relationship did not mean he could not go around getting his sexual desires satisfied by various girls, be it from clubs or some dark alley of Geylang. I wonder how he would have felt if his girlfriend went around sleeping with other guys. I mean, it would hurt right? So why the double standard? Is it just and fair as long as such things happen without the girl's knowledge? Is it a very appropriate behaviour as long as it does not continue after marriage? Is it ok for the guys to 'enjoy life' before settling down permanently?

In my opinion, if you want to 'enjoy life' do not do it at the expense of someone's love. I mean, I am bewildered by the fact that some do it even when they claim that they are in a i-am-so-in-love-I-will-do-anything-for-you-we-will-marry-and-have-kids kind of relationship. Why not just be single and 'enjoy life'? That way you would not be cheating the other person in the relationship. This is the worst kind of betrayal a person can experience, I feel. If you can have the right mind to think that it is perfectly fine to have an ONS with hot sexy looking babe in a club (or as I mentioned, Geylang) then I guess it's not even love anymore. The rest can call it whatever they want to brand it as.

I manage to catch the first episode of the new Tamil drama "Avargal" on Vasantham. I was pretty impressed by it. A typical family with a huge secret. The woman is kept in the dark of her husband's HIV positive status. The husband lies to her shamlessly and discourages her from experiencing the joy of being a mother because he had immoral sex in an unsafe manner. When the wife finds out she is pregnant and that the child could be HIV positive she stabs her husband in a moment of confusion and outrage. I applaud her character. Call me sadistic but I think the guy deserved it for being unfaithful to someone he vowed to love, take care and cherish for the rest of his lifetime. To take the happiness of being a mother from a woman is a sin that can never be cleansed.

I hope to catch the upcoming epsiodes of this drama. It has sparked an interest in me already. You should check it out too..

2007-01-24T11:16:00.000+08:00

Every time we argue and quarrel
I know it hurts the both of us.
I do not want to do that.
When I think over what I have said or done
It hurts me more.
I am never giving up on us
I do not want you to as well.
Baby, I love you.

D, I felt so touched when I heard you say the above. Words fail to express how I feel at this moment. It’s amazing how I still hold on to you. It’s amazing how I can be so tolerant and patient with you. Given my lack of patience, I would have given up on this relationship just like that.

However, you helped to make this go on stronger. Being with you makes me feel fulfilled emotionally. You are someone I never want to lose no matter what. It’s hard for me to say that I want you no more. I know this sounds cliché and corny but I guess this is what love is. At least this is what being in love with YOU is. Ok enough of the mushy stuff (it’s for you D).

Finally I made my first entry for the New Year! It has been an exciting, positively stressful and lovey-dovey Jan so far. There was the New Year Eve celebration, the ongoing wonderful Bhajans, preparing for another major event of SC, organising Parantha’s Bday party, dance practices and lot more other things which are not at the top of my head at the moment. The year has start off with a bang! My loved ones and I already got a few things lined up till March. I cannot wait for them to happen.

To me, 2007 is just another 12 months waiting to be filled with lots of fun and achievements. Nothing much has changed from 2006 (not that I want anything to) and there’s nothing much I want to change about 2007 (as yet).

I have set my goals and I am gearing up to set forth and fulfil these goals of mine. Bad things did happen in 2006 (though I cannot remember much!) however; I prefer to lean back on the good memories only. 2006 saw the birth of CHOKRIZ! My newfound love! Dance is something I always wanted to do and at the age of 23 I got to fulfill my desire of belonging in a group of individuals who share the same passion, rock the stage and forge more stronger bonds. It was one of the best things that happened to me in 2006.

Right at this moment when my eyes are beginning to deceive me and my mind is going into pre-sleep mode I have nothing else much to type. The words are turning into mush in my mind. So I am off to Wonderland.

Have A great 2007 guys!

LOVE KNOWS NO BOUNDARIES. JUST MAKE SURE IT’S THE RIGHT ONE!
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The above post was sitting in my desktop since Fri. Stupid blogger refused to work on my Mac. (Later on I realised there was smtgh wrong with blogger. An exasperated me finally decided to just put this up here) Here's the updated post...

CHOKRIZ are back in action!! We managed to clinch a dance segment for Oli's VDay programme. We are still shocked that they called us :) Then there is Parantha's 21 st party dance segment. I am really thrilled about the costumes and the songs for both events. We are gonna rock for sure.

My dad is coming back on Thurs!! Finally! Missed him so much (I always do). This time he was away longer than usual. I cannot wait to see him already.

There are a lot of things on my mind now. Parantha's bday, Sangz ROM, Suba's mini party, my assignment and most importantly getting a weekend job to improve my cash flow. There's lot more but I do not need to bore you. I shall update when i get these events up and going.

~~Watch Out For SASTHA PILLAIGAL~~
They have begun their journey and they are not stopping for anything!!

2006-12-29T11:09:00.000+08:00

I am one exhilarated gal. Yesterday I experienced true romantic bliss. It was not the first time though. Of course, the reason for it was D (note: romantic bliss).

I was meeting D after a very long time. He first touched me by bringing me to Swensens' for dinner because I just ended my vegetarian period. Awwwwwww. I know it is no fine dining but I felt pampered anyway. Just being with him, eating, talking non-stop about so many things and teasing him made my day. Then I got my Xmas Gift from him, an IPOD NANO.. Green colour. He did not get me a pink one as he thought I had too many pinky things. I LOVE IT! I only mentioned once that I like an Ipod and that was a freaking long time ago. To think that he remembered it.

For Xmas Gift exchange I got what I asked my Santa for: A Pink Daily Planner! My Santa was Karthik. Thanks a lot Karthik!
My favourite couple VD bought Devan and I a couple watch.. It's beautiful. Thanks a mill! Now we got smtgh similar to wear :)
Sangeetha got all the gals a lovely bracelet.
Dinesh and Pravin got me a pair of PINK earrings!

It is always nice to give and receive during Xmas. I want to shout out to ALL MY LOVED ONES. that I love you all so much and THANKS a lot for being in my life! A special moment: Thanks for everything D! You make me feel so wonderful all the time!

Being it a time to forgive and forget I chose to just forget. To forgive is Divine. I agree that I am no Angel which has attained divinity and I am not going to forgive anyone for the sake of looking oh-so-heavenly. My forgiving nature specially inclines towards people I truly love and who sincerely love me back.

I choose to forget because I still have to look at your damned face from time to time. No worries though I am not a hypocrite like what you have shown you can be. Formalities will now start flowing into our 'relationship' like a freaking flood.

I tried to get to know you simply because I had to, eventually I tried to blend with you because I liked that outer covering you had on yourself. It was pretty. Now that so many things have happened I question my judgement. When I start hating there's no turning back. You may turn into GOD for all I care. Once I hate you, the hatred will stay with me for the rest of my life.

The more I see you now, the more ugly you look to me. It's not just normal ugly it's HIDEOUS UGLY. Beauty, to me, is something which integrates your character. If your character is horrible then I have got nothing much to say about how you will look to me.

If you can show that much of EGO I can show much more but it will be just a waste of my precious time. I hope you are reading this and I really hope you know who you are. I just want to say that you are a MAJOR LOSER and someone that I do not want in my life. So STOP putting that facade whenever I am around you, as it makes me wanna vomit. I cannot stand anything of you. Finally I DO NOT appreciate being JUDGED by YOU.

I feel much better now.

2006-12-23T00:30:00.000+08:00

Today was a long day.. Just want to say that I had a wonderful time with the lovely guys in my life. My brothers, Muthu and Saran and my darling Devan! One whole day out with them was just great. We managed to watch A Night At the Museum which was hilarious. The PINK Xmas tree at THE CATHAY was WOW! Just missed having VD around. They were together celebrating a special day. Happy Anniversary to my Favourite Couple, Vadi and Durga. Love you both so much. Let'e go out soon! I am so tired to type anything else much and my brain is in a mush so this entry is becoming boring, lame and very much like a sms. So that's it. Check out the PINKY TREE!

Can You See Muthu? He was jumping to get into the pic!

The Pink Tree

.......

2006-12-05T14:49:00.000+08:00

Karthik sent me a sms this morning mentioning that someone had jumped onto the tracks at Yishun MRT station. My first thought was that the trains were going to be delayed and I was going to be late for work. Call me inhumane but hey, if you want to take your life do not do it at everyone else's inconvenience.

Karthik probably thought that I did not have any feelings of sympathy as I kept asking him if trains were going to be delayed for long etc. lol. The thing is I do feel sad. I feel sad for the person who thinks that life is meaningless, who apparently did not receive the necessary help and who did not seem to find any other alternatives to the problems faced. I feel sad for the family members who might be dependent on that person.

Karthik suggested that SMRT Corp ought to put barricades or glass panels like those we see in the underground stations. Putting barricades is a good idea I guess but if most of the cases are suicides ones then there's nothing much we can do is there? If you want to die you will find the means to do it. Especially if the individual have decided that the life is not worth living. If they are accidents I guess we can only say that it's personal responsibility or fate.

On a more personal note, I would like to proudly announce that Sri Sastha Pillaigal have released their second album. The launching ceremony was GREAT! I had so much fun preparing for it as much as going through it with all my chellams. As usual the guys impressed me with their ability to be so responsible when necessary. Without any questions asked they were all neatly lined up behind the buffet line when food was about to be served.

The special programme with the Villu Paatu went wonderfully well. There were touching moments here and there with us feeling so proud of ourselves. The sales went well considering it was the first day. We also had our own 'press conference'. Everyone said something that was endearing to the group and it just showed how much closer we get everyday. There were some hiccups during the event but we managed to overcome them and we learnt what details to pay attention to in future. Overall it was a fantastic experience. Here's to more successful projects of Sri Sastha Pillaigal and Sri Sastha Association.

Cheers!

2006-11-26T01:18:00.001+08:00

A sudden feeling of distance felt.
Makes me feel insecure.
Makes me feel Lonely.

It is probably redundant paranoia.
Still, I cannot help feeling this way.
I hope you know that I love you so.

I am just waiting..

2006-11-10T10:35:00.000+08:00

Ooo kind of true.. considering that I dislike anything that is not a lil sweet..

You Are Sex On the Beach

When comes to drinking, you like it to go down smooth.You really don't like the taste of alcohol - just its effect on you.So, you're proud to get drunk on fruity, girly drinks.Because once you're liquored up, the fun begins!

What alcoholic drink are you?

This one I am not too sure about it..

What Your Face Says

At first glance, people see you as driven and ambitious.
Overall, your true self is reserved and logical.
With friends, you seem dramatic, lively, and quick to react.
In love, you seem mysterious and interesting.
In stressful situation, you seem like you're oblivious to the stress.

What do people think of your face?

COokies!

You Are a Black and White Cookie

You're often conflicted in life, and you feel pulled in two opposite directions.When you're good, you're sweet as sugar. And when you're bad, you're wicked!

What kind of cookie are you?

Fantastic! (I get addicted to these quizzes really fast)

You Have Fantastic Karma

You are a kind, sensitive, and giving person.And all your good deeds will pay off - if they haven't already.But you're not so concerned with what you get in return anyway.You have an innate caring nature - and nothing can change that!

How's Your Karma?

Always Misjudged

You Are Apple Red

You're never one to take life too seriously, and because of it, you're a ton of fun.And although you have a great sense of humor, you are never superficial.Deep and caring, you do like to get to the core of people - to understand them well.However, any probing you do is light hearted and fun, sometimes causing people to misjudge you.

What Color Red Are You?

Interesting..

Your Lust Quotient: 29%

You are a fairly lustful person, but nothing out of the norm.You usually keep your lust under control, but sometimes it gets the better of you.

How Much Lust Do You Have?

Ok I am going to stop here before I flood my space. Anyway I just checked my results hoping they were finally out. THE RESULTS ARE OUT! AND THANK GOD.. I FREAKING PASSED! Phew which means I only got 2 more glorious modules to go for Psych excluding the one I am taking in the coming new term. Yippee!

I am happy though a little upset that my GPA isn't that fantastic. I have to further my studies after this so as long as that goes smoothly I will be one contented person. I am going to treat myself to something nice today. :)

2006-11-09T14:53:00.000+08:00

Did this because I was extremely bored..

Your Existing Situation

Insecure. Seeks roots, stability, emotional security, and an environment providing greater ease and fewer problems, but is either unwilling or unable to exert the effort.
Circumstances are forcing her to compromise, to restrain her demands and hopes, and to forgo for the time being some of the things she wants.

Your Stress Sources

Feels that life has far more to offer and that there are still important things to be achieved--that life must be experienced to the fullest. As a result, she pursues her objectives with a fierce intensity that will not let go of things. Becomes deeply involved and runs the risk of being unable to view things with sufficient objectivity, or calmly enough; is therefore in danger of becoming agitated and of exhausting her nervous energy. Cannot leave things alone and feels she can only be at peace when she has finally reached her goal.

Your Restrained Characteristics

Exacting in her emotional demands, especially during moments of intimacy leaving her frustrated in her desire for a perfect union.
Circumstances are forcing her to compromise, to restrain her demands and hopes, and to forgo for the time being some of the things she wants.

Your Desired Objective

Preoccupied with things of an intensely exciting nature, whether erotically stimulating or otherwise. Wants to be regarded as an exciting and interesting personality with an altogether charming and impressive influence on others. Uses tactics skillfully so as to avoid endangering her chances of success or undermining others' confidence in herself.

Your Actual Problem

The fear that she might be prevented from achieving the things she wants leads her to play her part with an urgent and hectic intensity.
Circumstances are forcing her to compromise, to restrain her demands and hopes, and to forgo for the time being some of the things she wants.

I don't know if any of it is much true.. oh well..

2006-11-06T11:42:00.000+08:00

I am not a fan of cats but this is totally cute!

http://www.glumbert.com/media/tiredkitten

And something for your thoughts on real beauty... (Even models need make-up to look good..)

http://www.glumbert.com/media/beauty

2006-11-03T15:01:00.000+08:00

I am loving this addition to my blogspot!! In case you are wondering, it's the lovely clock on your right! I am getting excited coz the design is so beautiful. Lord Ganesha...

I happen to chance upon it during my lunch break and now here it is. I managed to get it to fit and be seen at the right spot. So proud of myself lol..

2006-10-22T23:16:00.000+08:00

This is cool! I am using the blogger widget to post this. I know I sound 'ulu'.?

Anyway Deepavali was wonderful as usual. I just found myself feeling more tired than last year. Deepavali evening was spent at Annae's place as usual. I still got Durga's place, Vadi's place and Viki's place on my list. Wow! And I finally got my dinner coming. Finally! Can't wait.?

Happy Deepavali to all my fellow indians.

2006-10-19T09:36:00.000+08:00

I can't wait for Friday when my house will be in splendour and chaos.

I can't wait for Saturday when I can put on that beautiful saree my aunt got me (together with my PINK bangles)

I can't wait to meet D and my chellams to share my excitement.

I can't wait to eat all the yummy goodies (Kuih mamut, cornflakes biscuit ooo yum)

I just can't wait for Deepavali!!

A Very Happy Deepavali To All My Loved Ones! (I told you I can't wait for it...)

2006-10-12T23:39:00.000+08:00

Blogging two days in a row! Amazing! I really ought to be studying now but i cannot bring myself to do it. Hehe. I suddenly had this inspiration to say something about the unsung heroes in my life and what better way to say it then here?

So, the so called unsung heroes in my life would be my darling friends. Had many, lost some, stuck with a few. I daresay the few chosen ones are GEMS..

First up would be none other than my beloved Azizah. Close friend of 9 freaking years! We do not meet or talk as much now compared to before but, nevertheless the bond exists. She's always there for me no matter what. I can count on her at anytime of the day or night. MY friend who puts things right for me when I get them wrong. She makes me face reality and shows me the right way to go.. We have done countless crappy things together! Thinking of them brings a smile to my face. Those were definitely the days. Gosh I miss her loads! Azizah I LOVE YOU! She will probably NEVER read this. What the heck!

Following that would be Mr. Niranjanakumararaj. He is as long-winded as his name. The most patient friend I have had. Amazing how he tolerates me. I have screamed at him zillion times, ranted to him trillion times, gossiped with him god-knows of how many pple, dragged him to go shopping with me and azizah, laughed with him and at him madly, cried on his shoulder... and so many other things which I can't mention here, partly because they are not coming to my mind right now and some are personal memories =) He is so protective of me and Azizah that sometimes I felt that I couldn't breathe. But, he's a darling who's a mega pain in the ass! I know.. Contradiction.. ANYWAY Niran I am never forgetting the day you left me alone in BK and created that TWIST in my life. WHAT TRAGEDY IT CREATED! HAha Dramatic ah..

I have more people I would love to mention like Kalai who never fails to annoy me but he's always nice when I am feeling a lil blue. Ali, who is full of nonsense and loves to irritate the hell out of me. Sanjay who always stole my scrunchie. Charan who is ALWAYS there to help me out in stuff. And of course my dear Meenu A.K.A Kayel who's gorgeous inside out. I can go on and on about these pple but I have lost the drive to type anything more. Till next time....

2006-10-12T01:25:00.000+08:00

Need to clear my mind.

What just happened?

I cannot seem to understand the cause and the preceding events.

Was I in the wrong?

Did I misunderstand or was I being misunderstood?

Should I blame it all on my mood swings and pretend like it never happened?

Too many questions and no answers.

I think I just need a hug.....

2006-10-03T22:14:00.000+08:00

I am falling in love with this song and SURYA!!! HE's so gorgeous.
I see my baby in him... *blush* *blush*