I feel miserable (and it's not even pms). I am hiding in a shell fearing to break the rules that I am bounded by. No matter how much I know that it is all for the best I cannot help but feel miserable. I just want to break free and breathe a little. It all sounds a little dramatic but it just feels that way.

How I yearn at times to speak of it to you. There are just so many things that I would love to share with you. You are so close to my heart yet far far away. The matters of my heart remain there. Though it wants to be revealed it has to be hidden.

Can't you see that I am miserable? Can't you see that I need you?
Why do you pretend so much? Pretence is just an easy way to falsify reality. Face it. This is the way it is going to be.

You have tied me down with your love but there's a little bit of selfishness in that and it really hurts me deep at times. You are right as always but you have made mistakes along the way. Mistakes that are too late to be rectified. I just hope that one day you are grateful for what I have been through just for you. It is not easy to lock up my emotions and pretend. It is not easy to be how you want me to be. You just don't seem to know me after all.

Right. I feel better already.