:)

Sometimes I really feel that I cannot breathe. Then it happened literally and threw me off balance. That was a weird episode. I came out of it like it never happened but strangely I seem to have lost the fighter in me. My willpower seemingly has fallen into a deep abyss, never to emerge again.

Work has become a killer. Those of you who think that I can afford to waltz in to work at my own will or play hooky from work. You are so wrong. Everything has changed and so has my work load. On the contrary, I like my job, as bizarre as it may sound. The mind says LEAVE while the heart says STAY. That is a freaking dilemma.

Tuitions have taken their toll on me. I cannot afford to quit that too. Think of all the financial means going down the drain. Oh no. Never.

I have lost the determination to complete my course and graduate. Maybe it is the daunting fact that I have completed all my core modules and it is the bloody electives which are making me lag. Maybe it is the fact that I started this term by chanting 'I hate business'. Maybe it is just that I cannot seem to pick my lazy ass up and slog through the remaining three terms. Eesh I have really lost my motivation to strive. I hope I find it soon. I have had enough of doing last minute assignments with no clue as to what I am asked to do and with no knowledge as to whether what I have handed in makes sense. "I Really Hate Business" no wait... "I LOVE BUSINESS" Aummmmm......


I want to snuggle down deep into my bed and sleep for 8hrs straight with no interruptions. I want to shop with my mind free of troubles and thoughts pertaining to anything even remotely concerned with work, family, friends or school for that matter. I want to take the effort in dressing up everyday and stop looking like I-just-grabbed-what-i-could in the morning (that is what i do actually). Bleagh!


I NEED A BREAK! And so the Bintan trip has come in the nick of time to rescue me from the clutches of stress. Counting down the hours now.......